Take Your Lovemaking To The Next Level

Love, Sex

Sex and lovemaking advice for couples...

Has lovemaking with your partner become a bit too predictable?

It might be pleasurable, but there isn't the same level of passion that you used to enjoy with your mate...or maybe that you've always wanted to experience but never have. Even if you feel satisfied in the bedroom, it could be that you'd like even more.

Adam looks forward to Friday nights. Friday is date night with his wife Cassie. They both work hard at their jobs and have a full house of kids and pets. It seems that they are constantly on the run-- and often doing different things.

When Adam and Cassie set aside Friday nights as “their” time, it was one of the best decisions they ever made. Sometimes they watch a movie or go out to eat, but they always end up their date night making love.

This is Adam's favorite part of date night. But lately, Adam finds himself wanting more adventure and spontaneity with Cassie when it comes to their lovemaking. He wistfully remembers their passionate days and nights together...before kids, careers and pets.

If you want to take your lovemaking-- and your relationship-- to a deeper, closer and more passion-filled level, you can check out all kinds of books and dvds. These will teach you about new positions to try or products to enhance your experience.

It is true, there are specific techniques and products that can certainly increase pleasure for both you and your partner.

In this article, however, we're offering you some different tips that might surprise you...

Tip #1: Don't always make love when you are intimate.
Women, and some men, will often ask their partner to just cuddle or “spoon” together. Believe it or not, non-sexual intimacies like this can amp up the passion.

It can be a particularly sensual and exciting experience for you and your mate to give one another foot or back massages-- and NOT to make love afterward. Allow yourself to be pleased by the touches you give and receive and really connect with your partner in the process.

Hold hands or stroke your mate's arm or cheek. The more often that you touch one another in sensual ways, and also in affectionate ones, the deeper you can go when you do choose to make love.

Intimacy can also happen at an emotional level. Finding the courage to be intimate in this way will not only bring you emotionally closer to your partner, it can also help you take your lovemaking to the next level.

When you truly open up to your mate-- even about the things that you feel uncomfortable sharing-- you are bolstering the trust and understanding between you two.

You can each more fully know one another.

More often than not, this deeper trust and understanding will carry over into the bedroom. Allowing your love to know the real you and listening with openness to the real him or her can induce greater openness when it comes to lovemaking.

This can mean more adventure, more spontaneity and more pleasure.

Tip #2: Don't bring your resentments to bed with you.
Adam realizes that one aspect of his weekly lovemaking with Cassie that dissatisfies him is that it seems like sometimes Cassie just wants to “get it over with.”

Especially if the two of them have had a disagreement during the previous week, Cassie seems to hold back and is not always “there” as they make love.

When Adam is really honest with himself, he can admit that he sometimes he holds back from Cassie as they make love, particularly if there's unresolved tension between them.

It can be frustrating to get the sense that your partner is not completely with you as you make love. Often, this happens because one (or both) of you has unintentionally brought a resentment to bed.

In love relationships and marriages, it is inevitable that a couple will have conflict from time to time. This might be about something relatively minor or something more involved and difficult to resolve.

Even those tensions that seem insignificant or even “silly,” to you can wreak havoc on your lovemaking and your relationship if they are ignored or allowed to fester. Notice when you feel irritated or annoyed with your partner. Take the time to get to the core of what you are feeling upset about.

Next, take steps to find some ease.

This might involve you internally coming to terms with a situation that you really can't change. It might also mean that you sit down with your mate to create agreements that will address this issue.

If you sense that your partner is holding back from you while making love, pause and gently ask if there is something that he or she is willing to talk with you about.

It's highly likely that after you two have had a chance to really talk about what's going and you've started to take steps toward a resolution, you will both feel closer and more connected.

This is where the passionate sparks can really fly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the relationship they desire.  Click here to get their free ebook, Passionate Heart-Lasting Love.

Explore YourTango