Jennifer's friends keep urging her to date again. It's been about 6 months since the painful breakup with her ex-boyfriend and she's just not sure if she's ready yet.
To be honest, she's not sure if she'll ever be ready to date again.
Being cheated on, lied to and dumped by her ex-boyfriend has left Jennifer feeling leery and apprehensive of men. Jennifer's friends suggest that she won't fully heal until she finds another guy and sees that all men aren't like her ex.
Jennifer is not so sure.
After your breakup or divorce, do you feel like you are treading carefully through life?
You may already be dating again and living with the doubts and suspicions that this relationship will end up like your last one. Or, like Jennifer, you might be choosing to stay single for now (or forever).
There are no rules that say you have to wait a certain period of time after a breakup before you can date again. There are also no rules that say you have to ever date again.
This is completely up to you to decide.
When you feel lonely and crave the intimacy of being in a love relationship, it's a pretty clear sign that you might be ready to date again.
It could be that some days you are more open to the thought of dating again than you are on other days.
All of this is natural.
Stay connected in with what you want.
As you your broken heart pain heals, it is so important that you remain tuned in to you.
You will know whether you'd like to go out socially or if you'd prefer to stay in alone when you are connected in with yourself.
Set aside at least 5 minutes each day for this check in time. You might write in a journal or simply sit quietly with your attention focused inward.
During this time, just notice the feelings that you are having. Listen to your own thoughts. This information can help you know what you are ready for and what you need next.
With all of the advice from her friends, Jennifer is starting to feel overwhelmed. She begins to write in her journal for 10 minutes or so before leaving for work in the mornings.
As Jennifer records her thoughts and feelings, she recognizes that she does feel lonely quite often. There is a part of her that is interested in learning to trust a man again in a love relationship.
Allow it to happen.
If you have decided that you are actually ready to date again, you might experience a whole range of emotions next. You might feel some nervousness, excitement and perhaps even a little self-consciousness.
It may have been quite a while since you were out in the dating world-- or it might not have been that long ago. In either case, the process of attracting a date and finding the right match for you can be thrilling and it can be challenging too.
What you may have found in the past is this: When you worry about and/or try to force a date or a relationship, it doesn't usually work well.
On the other hand, when you focus in on enjoying each moment-- including the people who come and go through your life-- dates and a wonderful relationship can develop naturally.
You might even find your soul mate!
Learn how to allow whatever is going to happen with others...to happen.
Of course, we advise you to know what you want and to make deliberate choices about what you are willing to do (and what you are unwilling to do) in particular situations.
For example, Jennifer has started to make a list of the characteristics she'd like in her next love relationship. She has written: “trusting, passionate, fun, respectful, honest, open and sexually satisfying” in her journal.
You can become clear about what you want to attract in a relationship even if you haven't necessarily met the other person yet.
Keep healing and releasing the past.
Even after you've met an interesting person and started dating him or her, continue to regularly check in with yourself. It is also crucial that you keep doing whatever you need to do to heal.
Truly healing from a broken heart can take some time. Emotional pain can be multi-layered.
Be aware if you become upset by something that happens in your dating relationship and your reaction seems more intense than the situation warrants. This could indicate that you are reacting more from the past than from the present.
Especially as this dating relationship develops, it will be beneficial for you to release the past bit by bit.
It may seem to you that you've done all of the letting go that you can do...until you come upon another layer and opportunity to let go of that ended relationship more.
What you'll most likely find is that the more present with this new person in your life you are, the closer the two of you can become.
Did you know that attracting your perfect partner can feel effortless and easy? Find out Automatic Attraction Secrets.