How would you describe your relationship right now?
Has its ups and downs
Fireworks, but of the wrong kind
Snooze-fest kind of boring
Sure, it’s common for a love relationship or marriage to go through spurts of passionate connection and then lulls of distance and dullness. The trick is to not let the lulls take over.
For many couples, over time the spark fades. They take this as natural and normal and just learn to put up with it. Maybe this is the way it is for you.
You are disappointed and ache for the romance and deliciousness of how things used to be in your relationship. You try to revive the spark, but your partner is either too busy or doesn’t take your lead for some other reason.
So, you’ve given up and decided to settle.
Despite your belief that this is “just the way it goes,” if you don’t have what you truly desire in your relationship, then resentment, blame, guilt, anger, sadness and helplessness may well up within you. These can build up and lead to arguments or chilly distance.
What you may have forgotten is that you actually are NOT helpless. You do NOT have to settle for anything less than what you’ve been craving with your partner.
We’re not promising that your long-term relationship will be one take-your-breath-away moment after another. We ARE telling you that you can bring back romance and it doesn’t have to feel like a lot of hard work.
Try these 4 methods for reigniting the spark in your relationship....
#1: Make yourself an irresistible invitation to love.
Want to know the secret to passionate love that lasts? Be irresistible to your partner and, with your words and actions, invite in more of what you want.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to lose 50 lbs. or get a complete makeover. You can be more irresistible by dialing down criticisms and judgments, if that’s your habit. You can be more irresistible by appreciating your partner and your relationship in genuine ways.
And, if you’ve become lax about taking good care of your body, then getting out and exercising and eating a few more salads and a few less double cheeseburgers is also a way to become more irresistible.
#2: Clean up the clutter.
To make room for more romance in your relationship, take a look at what’s standing in the way. Most people carry around a lot of resentment and painful feelings because of things that happened long, long ago.
This clutters up you and your relationship. It also invites in more of what you don’t want-- the resentment, pain and distance.
Identify what you’re carrying around that’s blocking passion and connection and start making peace with the past. You might need to talk with your partner about an old hurt. Do so with the clearly stated intention that you want to resolve this so that you can both move on.
The ultimate goal here is to release the past so that you can enjoy your relationship now.
#3: Live in the moment.
As you release clutter, make sure your attention and energy are right here and right now. A whole lot of people spend a whole lot of time not only remembering mistakes of the past, but also projecting into the future.
They project worries and fears and sometimes project hopes and aspirations.
There’s nothing wrong with dreaming about how fabulous your future will be, but this can cause you to feel deprived and stuck right now. None of us can know with 100% accuracy what will happen in the future. To dwell on it-- either negatively or positively-- robs us of what’s going on now.
Don’t miss out on the really great things that are percolating between you and your partner in the present moment. They might not be as amazing as what you imagine, but they could be pretty close.
Best of all, you get to actually live them instead of merely imagining them.
Each and every day, greet your partner as if you’re on your first date together. Learn something new about about him or her and then keep discovering.
#4: Take charge of your own passion and excitement.
Don’t make your partner responsible for how you feel. Whether it’s anger, happiness, feeling taken for granted or respected, your emotions and your experiences are up to you. This includes whether you are bored in your relationship or delighted and excited.
See your dullness and disappointment as a wake up call. It’s time for you to step up and start living in a way that does spark your passion-- both in your relationship and outside of it too.
Start with you. Follow your dreams and give yourself permission to explore what makes you come alive.
Cultivating a close relationship with your partner can be part of this. Make it a priority to bring back the spark in your relationship and set aside regular time for fun and connecting.
Be sure to also spend time on or discover other interests you have. Even if it's birdwatching or baking bread (which are both wonderful activities), find out what helps you engage with your life more fully and then dive into it.
You can even share these interests of yours with your partner and do them together. This is absolutely bound to make the sparks of love fly!
"Love Amnesia" is one of the biggest causes of relationship breakups & divorce. Our new free video helps you know whether this is a problem in your relationship. Visit www.irresistibleinvitationtolove.com