Kent and Teresa greet each other with cold stares and only barely speak to each other lately. This communication breakdown in their marriage has been building up for a few months, and it culminated in a huge argument between them over a week ago.
Communication has always been challenging for them when difficult topics arise. Teresa tends to get angry easily. She yells while Kent withdraws into silence or becomes defensive and guarded.
Over the past few months, Teresa has made some discoveries about a few of Kent's habits that upset her. Some of Kent's habits conflict with Teresa's morals. For example, he visits adult porn sites online. They argued about the pornography issue for several days before Kent agreed to stop. However, he only did that to regain some peace. He didn't intend to keep that promise.
When Teresa found out that Kent received a work bonus several weeks ago and didn't tell her about it, she was livid. She feels betrayed and suspicious. Kent doesn't know exactly why he lied about the bonus. Mostly, he didn't want Teresa to run out and spend the extra money before he had time to enjoy this personal accomplishment.
Now, Kent and Teresa are left with a hostile silence between them. Trust has been damaged and neither of them knows how to repair their relationship.
Has something happened to cause a communication breakdown in your love relationship or marriage? Have you struggled, like Kent and Teresa, to create a healthy way to communicate about disagreements or misunderstandings? Or, does one big argument or fight continue to come up, and you can't figure out how to resolve it? No matter what form of communication breakdown you're going through, here are three ways to overcome it:
1. Get clear about what happened and where you stand. This is one of the more challenging steps in getting past the disconnection, but it's essential. Consider the perspective of an observer and get clear about what happened.
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