Happy New Year to all of you wonderful singles out there!
If you didn't get the commitment you felt you deserved in 2013, or if you have vowed to find the love of your life in 2014, let's talk strategy. First, stop beating yourself up: If it was that easy, wouldn't you have done it in 2013 when I suggested it the first time? It's helpful to really consider what you're looking for. Everyone wants the hot guy or girl, but no one ever stops to think what that guy or girl is looking for in a relationship. We've all known a Mr. Below Average who thinks his type is the hot Victoria's Secret model from the fashion show and refuses to settle for anyone else. Think he's so different from you? In truth, lots of singles have this mentality and don't even realize it.
Here's a helpful place to change your attitude: How about starting with adjusting the reality of what you aren't getting out of your current relationship — a commitment. Lots of people just hang on, even when it's obvious things aren't working, and this prevents them from finding the love they deserve.
So, first you need to cut the ties holding you back with the current person in your life. How do you recognize a man or woman that won't commit? For starters, he's the guy that's MIA for long periods of unaccounted time. Or rather, it's accounted for, but not necessarily honest: He can't tell you he was at some other woman's apartment all night, and then at breakfast with her the next morning, can he? This guy is also vague on when he will be popping the question, and you have been waiting forever for that pretty, sparkly thing on your finger. Maybe he even told you he doesn't want to get married (ouch!). Remember, not wanting to get married right now might be code for he doesn't want to marry you, ever. Does this sound farmiliar? If so, aren't you tired of this run-around and ready to take action?
I'm here to tell you the best news you'll hear all year: There are many amazing catches who will commit — right in front of you! You just don't realize it yet. You might think I'd deliver a match to you through my company, Exclusive Matchmaking, and BAM: that would be all you need. But nope, that wouldn't be the end of the story. You might say he was too short, she was missing something you can't quite put your finger on, or there was no chemistry. You might pass up my great pick, as well. Moral of the story? It isn't about going out there and finding "the one"; it's about finding that incredible worthy person within; the person who deserves and recognizes real love. It's about kicking the old you to the curb with your outdated ideas. So, what do you do if you cannot afford Exclusive Matchmaking or a matchmaker?
1. Kick that loser you're with to the curb — now!
This works both ways: The loser you are dating can be a man or a woman. Since the men typically do the proposing though, it's women who are usually sitting around waiting. No excuses, ladies. I hear them all the time. You're waiting for Valentine’s Day, Christmas or his favorite Aunt's Birthday for the proposal that is never coming. If you've been waiting forever, get rid of him now. If he isn't meeting your needs, he is meeting his only, and that's not going to fly in a longterm relationship. How about cutting your losses, and moving on to someone that can meet your needs?
2. Overcome issues holding you back: from shyness, a demanding job, depression, to issues with weight.
There's no time like the present to start creating balance in your life with your job and career, or working with a life coach for self-improvement. Working with a dating coach on how to overcome your shyness works wonders. You're going to want to be your best self when you meet the man of your dreams, which leads us to our next goal...
3. Become the best you that you can be!
Time you spend working on yourself is like money in the bank. The more well rounded you become, the better catch you can attract. Do work on yourself, go to the gym, read self help books, find your passion, and donate time at your favorite charity. Once again, working with a life coach and dating coach is a great idea. Check out my Stiletto Boot Camp — it's a lot of fun, and a great idea for finding love, for both men and women!
4. Work on your appearance because it does matter.
Some people think a dating prospect should get the "real you". Sure, but, you will never attract them in sweat pants! Seek out an image consultant, makeup artist, and a new hairstylist. You have to attract them to the package first before they want to get to know you, your goals and strengths and amazing personality. Everyone likes a pretty package, so why not have fun creating one?
5. Create a dating action plan.
This isn't a check list for the qualities you're seeking in a person. Nope; that didn't work for you in the past. Instead, this is a plan to get you out there, meeting a quality person with the same relationship goals as you. So when you meet that hot dude on a motorcycle who captures your attention, you will realize he is just hot and offering you nothing substantial. This is a plan that you can refer back to often, to make sure you are on target for achieving your relationship goals.
I know this will help you find love in 2014. Follow me on twitter at Exclusive_match for our #lovetalktweetup resuming in 2014. Also, we will be announcing dates for our highly anticipated 2014 dating bootcamp.
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