It is “the initial mystery” that is exciting when you are first starting out with someone new. It is the lure that keeps your attention & wanting more. Being too available or too accommodating in the initial stages changes that dynamic, which inevitably causes new encounters to fizzle. People need to hold back a little piece of themselves in the beginning & let time take its’ course. Why are we always in such a rush to prove ourselves to the “new” person? Listening to them is important & will help you decide if there is a trust or bond forming before you divulge every sorted detail of why you are a great catch. Playing a “little” hard to get is not such a bad thing if handled correctly.
The main objective is to understand why some relationships do not develop past the first 3 dates.
Can you relate to this & are you a victim of this pattern? While it is great to be honest, giving “all of you” in the first few dates will quickly be the demise of a follow up date. No one is looking for your auto biography and if you lay out everything too quickly the mystique is gone & you are already predictable.
When purchasing a book, what is the first thing that draws your attention?
The cover and title correct? Would you go into the bookstore, pick up an interesting book and read the last chapter first? Would this be appealing? Where is the intrigue and story build-up? A quick beginning and hasty ending would be an unappetising read. The substance and the meat of the story are in the middle of the book, which is the same for a relationship!
A person wants to feel special, but not at someone’s expense. If they are living “for you” and giving up their own needs constantly to please you, how can you respect them in the long run? They are actually co-dependent because they need to make you “their everything” to be happy. No one wants someone who is a door mat. The couples that work well together have a natural balance. They make time for themselves & each other equally so there is no resentment.
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