7 Tips For Setting Goals In Your Marriage

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couple kissing with fireworks
Forget personal goals. This year, make your resolutions about your marriage.

Everyone I've talked with over the last couple days has said that they felt 2010 was a bum year, but are really excited about 2011. Perhaps we are all tired of the gloom and doom from the media—or just hopeful about the prospect of the newness of a fresh set of calendar pages.

Either way, this is a great time to think about your marriage and get some things down in writing about where you want to be together in the next 12 months. I really encourage you to write them down. When you write something down, the brain works harder to make it happen.

That said, here are 7 thoughts to get you started on goal setting in the new year:

1. Spend time by yourself first. Spend some time thinking and meditating about the last year together. If you are the praying type, you can do that too. Write down things that come to mind that you want to do better with your spouse, or what you want to achieve together. 12 New Year's Resolutions Every Couple Should Make

2. Pick three "Big Idea Words." Writer Chris Brogan suggests that all your goals should fall under three big idea words for the year. You set your three words, which act as what he calls "lighthouses." Every goal you set should line up under one of those three words.

3. Start stupid small. My friend Dr. Corey Allan says to start stupid small. Keep it simple and don't overwhelm yourself. If you have big goals, break them down to stupid small steps, and take them one small step at a time. It didn't take one day to get where you are in your marriage, it won't take one day to get out either. But if you take small steps, you'll be 365 steps closer to where you want to be by 2012.

4. Break your goals into categories. When you write your goals down in categories it helps you focus on one specific area at a time. Some might include: Personal, financial, spiritual, giving, influence, lifestyle, travel, physical, fitness, things to learn, sexual positions to try, sites to see, etc. These are all examples of categories that might be on your list.

5. Check out others who have goal lists for inspiration. Google "Goals Lists", or check out these great examples: John Goddard, Ted Leonsis, Mark Batterson

6. Write out your goals separately. After you have given thought to your goals, set a time, do a date night and talk with your spouse to see where your goals are similar. Combine them to make your marriage goals. 5 Relationship Resolutions For The New Year!

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