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Fix Your Relationship By FIRST Embracing Your Emotions


About two years ago, my spiritual journey took a catapult.

I've had flashes of inner wisdom during intense moments of my life. Inner guidance that came through like a lightning bolt during minutes of intense fear or risk. I always felt "lucky" at those times, like God was with me. It only happened on a few occasions in my entire life, so I just felt blessed that in "life or death" moments, Grace came in.

Then about two years ago, my spiritual journey took a catapult. I started to learn about the Law of Attraction and the tool that helped this all click for me, The Emotional Guidance System, from Abraham Hicks. My life started to changedramatically.

My husband Paul, my greatest spiritual teacher, showed me how source was always present and guiding me to the next right step for me, and, as Abraham teaches, my Emotional Guidance System was the navigation system for me to discern the inner wisdom that was available to me at every moment of my day.

The Emotional Guidance System by Abraham Hicks teaches a scale of 22 emotions, ranging from positive emotions, such as gratitude, appreciation, passion, joy, love and optimism to negative emotions such as boredom, pessimism, resentment, anger and despair.

The positive emotions are gathered on the left side of The Emotional Guidance System chart. And the negative emotions are gathered on the right side of The Emotional Guidance System chart.

I started checking IN with myself more and testing this tool. I began asking myself, "How do I feel right now?" and really honing in my emotional acuity for myself.

Here is the distinction that I discovered that changed my life forever.

When I check in and see how I'm feeling, and my emotion is on the right side (negative) of The Emotional Guidance System chart, then whatever ideas, thoughts or inclinations I have to act, are NOT coming from Source. Those thoughts and ideas are not my Inner Wisdom, instead they are coming from my brain and are driven by my own fear and ego (to protect me from some pain).

I have learned not to listen to my own "self-talk" when I am on the right side of The Emotional Guidance System. That is NOT inner wisdom; on the contrary, it is scared, fear-based and self-talk.

When I check in with myself and I'm feeling one of the emotions on the left side of The Emotional Guidance System chart, then I have faith that my ideas, thoughts, inclinations and beliefs are guided by Source. Said differently, I'm receiving Inner Wisdom. In those moments, I have faith in my thoughts, beliefs and downloads and act accordingly, in spite of any fear!

With practice, using this as my MAP, over and over again, I started to find "certainty" in listening to my Inner Wisdom. Today, this is how I walk through life: listening to my Inner Wisdom and understanding the difference between Inner Wisdom and fear based self-talk.

Many people focus on wanting "certainty," certainty to know what is the best thing for them to do, what the future will hold, which way to choose. It's human nature. Except that we can't control anyone other than ourselves and we can't predict the future.

But you don't need to GUESS at what to do next or fear what's coming your way either!

By following my strategic approach to Inner Wisdom, I have released my need to find certainty through "control" and found my way of being "certain" within. I know that I am guided at every moment, and I choose my next step based on the guidance I receive.  As for the future, I also have faith that I will be guided again by my Inner Wisdom when I get there.

One of my favorite quotes of all time, (it's painted on my wall next to me) is by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase."

It is FAITH. And by using my Emotional Guidance System, I have learned my strategic approach to figuring out what the FIRST STEP on the staircase should be for me every time! Source put my staircase there, and my Emotional Guidance System tells me when my next step is ON or OFF of MY staircase!

When you think about your relationship or how you feel about your partner, you must also use your Emotional Guidance System. When you are feeling negative (emotions on the right side of the chart) the thoughts, inclinations and self-talk you hear in your head is NOT your Inner Wisdom.

When you are feeling grateful, appreciative, hopeful and optimistic or any of the feelings on the left side of The Emotional Guidance System chart, your thoughts, inclinations and next steps are guided by your Inner Wisdom!

That's why I ALWAYS coach clients to get onto the left side of emotions and then...THEN make your decisions. And then take action. And then work on your relationship and then engage with your partner!

Don't engage with your partner, blame them or try to "fix" your relationship when you are firmly planted on the right side of The Emotional Guidance System chart! No good can come from that. That's why couple's work doesn't work! Because when TWO people get together and they are BOTH on the right side of the emotional chart, it's only going to make the relationship worse.

Blaming your partner, or thinking you will just leave and find a different relationship that will be better, is not the answer. You must do the work. A great first step is to listen to our audio program, How to Transform Your Relationship in Eight Steps. It will help you get onto the left side of The Emotional Guidance System chart and empower you with the tools to keep yourself (and your partner) there more often!

No one can tell you long term what the answer will be. There is no crystal ball and no one can predict the future. However, moment to moment you can access your inner wisdom and be guided to the best outcome for you and your family.

All the guidance, answers, certainty you want in life, is flowing to you. Ironically, if you want to access it, you need to release your current patterns of control and strategically cultivate your ability to access and utilize your Inner Wisdom.

This article was originally published at Stacey Martino. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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