If you have been in the dating world for awhile or really just paying attention to those dating around you, you have likely noticed a universal phenomenon. Bad boys and good girls seem to naturally attract each other in more than just an opposites attract kind of way. In fact, it may well be the most self destructive type of relationship around for any number of different reasons.
The most common misperception is that the bad boy, the guy with an obvious wild side, is somehow manipulating the "good girl" and creating a fictional and therefore attractive dating relationship. In fact, in the vast majority of cases, the female part of the equation is actively seeking out that bad boy personality. Often she may be unaware of this need to be in a relationship with a guy like this unless she is willing to stop and assess how she selects her partners.
The major factors that draw a so called "good girl" into a relationship with a guy that is emotionally unavailable, unable to commit or unwilling to remain faithful and responsible in the relationship include:
1. The fixer. Many women come from a family where their father was unavailable to them emotionally. This could be from a divorce that kept the young girl and her father apart or because a father who was present physically was not really there emotionally for the child. In this situation the women attempts to recreate the same distant relationship in her own life in an attempt to "fix" the emotional distance this time around.
2. The familiar. Everyone is attracted to personality types that are familiar, even if they are not positive types. This means women who have a father who was a "bad boy" and perhaps a disaster as a husband is going to be attracted to the exact same emotional traits and characteristics in their own partners.
3. The adventurer. For some women choosing a guy who is a complete opposite and offers a change of pace, new adventure and even a bit of controlled risk is a big attractor. However, women often fail to understand that the risk taking isn't something that is carefully thought out and, with time, the risk will increase and the adventure will become more and more stressful and destructive.
4. The troubled soul. The last issue that drives many "good girls" to enter into relationships with guys who are on the wild side is the drive to rescue or to salvage what she may see as a troubled soul. In reality changing a personality is impossible unless the other person recognizes the issue and genuinely wants to make a change to keep the relationship healthy.