You'll be an expert in no time.
Imagine for a moment that Mickey Mouse decided to hit on you and started talking about his monstrous penis. Imagine that Spongebob Squarepants started getting horny and then told you how much he wanted to eat you out. Somehow, those images and dialogs don't seem so sexy.
Why? Probably because it's hard to think of someone silly as a smoldering sex siren. It's hard to imagine a goofy, high-pitched little squeal saying dirty things about asses, just as it's hard to fathom a total goober reading the Fifty Shades of Grey series.
There you have the dilemma of being a "cute" woman. Guys love your voice and think you're so adorable when you're at the mall, visiting the in-laws or talking to a classroom of toddlers. When it comes to sex, however, maybe he can't get past the voice. Maybe he can't even imagine you dirty-talking.
Here's a question: Can YOU imagine you dirty talking? Have you ever tried it before on your own or with someone else?
Don't be ashamed to admit it if you're a dirty talking virgin. Learning how to talk dirty to a guy without sending goofy messages is actually a common problem among women who have been raised to be sweet, innocent and perhaps even religious.
Not to fear, because we're going to share some ideas on how to talk dirty to a guy, from one girl to another.
1. Understand that dirty talking is not a mood-enhancer.
It's a form of foreplay and sexual intercourse. (At least when it's good!) So if you really want to give your guy a kick-stand, you have to think in terms of specifics and graphic detail. Don't just tease him with sexy images. Instead, corrupt him with scandalous thoughts about what you want to do to his body and what you want him to do to you.
It's OK to swear, and it's encouraged. Go beyond what you would say in "respectable conversation" because a little exaggeration is expected. Don't say sweet euphemisms like “make love.” Say you want to “f*ck him.” Avoid clinical terms and use modern street words like “p*ssy,” “cock,” and “cum.”
An innocent girl hums when something feels good and says, “More...” A bad girl is too impatient and would rather say something freaky like, “Yeah f*ck me like that, motherf*cker!” Guys will have no complaints and will actually be tickled by the idea that they're bringing this “wild side” out of you.
2. Avoid awkward sentences.
After you release your inhibitions and cut loose on the sailor talk, it's easy to overdo it and sound a bit wacky — not what you want when you're trying to keep the hot mood. So to avoid awkward sentences, always keep your dialog short and to the point. Don't speak like you're writing an erotic novel. Think more like a porn film.
It also works better to think in specifics, as in what body parts you want to highlight at a time. Don't jump all over the body or else you'll run out of things to say fast.
3. Take your time and obsess over the minutia of sensation.
Talk about how much you love his penis: how it tastes, how it feels, how it drives you crazy. When he's kissing your breasts, encourage his passion by moaning, “I love it when you suck on my nipples.”
Rhetorical questions also work wonders, even if they're something as simple as, “You like my tits in your face?” Your guy is going to love this, if for no other reason than because you're really enjoying yourself and not staying too prim or proper.
4. Keep the pace slow.
For the best results, slow your pacing down a wee bit so you can concentrate on images, bodily sensation, and can keep the dirty talk going for minutes on end. And sure, why not practice in front of a mirror when learning how to talk dirty to a guy? If for no other reason then to avoid making the "duck face" right after saying something spicy.