We know Drake loves it. Maybe you will too!
If you're wondering what a rim job is, it's also called rimming or analingus/anilingus, and is the stimulation of the anus with the tongue. If you were to describe what is a rim job to your partner, you could do so by saying it's performing oral sex on the anal region, using the tongue and mouth.
You may have heard Drake professing his love of rimming or even seen actress Allison Williams on the receiving end of a rim job in Season 4 of the HBO show Girls. (Here's a peek at that eye-opening scene:)
The tongue provides sensations unique from other types of stimulation. Some people are afraid to try it, thinking it might not be the most hygienic thing they can do, but there's really no reason to be concerned, as long as there's proper preparation!
Now that you know what a rim job is, you will want to know how to prepare for one. There are lots of ways to get yourself squeaky clean in the anal area.
Shower - Cleaning with warm water is generally enough. The best method of doing this is by using a detachable shower head. If you don't have one, just wash the area with soap and water.
Use wet wipes - No shower access? Toilet paper is usually enough to clean the area, but you may feel more comfortable using wet wipes. Use chemical-free and unscented wipes.
Use an enema - Although you don't have to use an enema to be clean enough for a rim job, you can do so if you want to feel extra clean. If you want to use an enema, do so a few hours before having any sort of anal sex. Enemas can cause some trauma to the rectum, making it more likely for transferring sexually transmitted infections, STIs. Enemas can make you feel super clean, and they make sure neither of you will feel as if you have to poop during sex.
Shave - Everyone has some hair around their anus. If you or your man is particularly hairy around the anus, however, it's a good idea to shave this area before receiving a rim job.
Use a Dental Dam - It's important to know that many STIs such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, HPV, syphilis, and HIV can be transferred through analingus. But, then again, all those STIs can also be spread through intercourse and oral sex. Also, note that hepatitis A and B can also be transferred through analingus. If you've both been tested for all those STIs or if you're both monogamous, you don't need to be concerned about STIs. But if you are, using a dental dam is a great solution.
A dental dam is for cleanliness and to prevent sharing of bodily fluids. If you're wondering what a dental dam is, it's simply a square piece of thin latex. You can buy dental dams, or you can make one using something made from latex, such as a latex glove or a condom (cut the tip off the condom, and then cut it in half). You could also use plastic wrap. To use a dental dam, put some lube on one side, and place the lubed side of the piece of latex over your partner's anus.
Let's Get Started
Start with manual stimulation - Massage the lower back, the insides of the thighs, the butt cheeks, the perineum (the skin between the anus and the genitals), and around the anus. You can do this while providing oral sex to the penis or the clit or while using a toy. Doing this is a great way to relax your partner. And you want your partner to anticipate what's to come. (I teach more powerful foreplay techniques to use on your man on my site.)
Use your fingers - Pull the butt cheeks apart, and then apply manual stimulation to the area, placing your fingers around the sphincter. Rub your fingers in a circular motion around the anal opening, and then try penetration.
Oral Stimulation - Either of you can first start oral stimulation of the genitals, and then work to the perineum and then to the anus. Or if you want to start oral at the anus, first softly kiss and lick the cheeks.
Positions - Doggy style and lying face down with pillows under the hips are the best positions to receive a rim job. Being on hands and knees allows the partner to best part the cheeks to get the best access. Plus the giver can easily masturbate the receiver in this position while giving a rim job. Some people might feel more comfortable starting in the lying down position, but they might get up on hands and knees once the excitement level grows. You can learn more sex positions here.
Rimming Techniques - There are a variety of rimming techniques that you can do. Your partner will probably enjoy all of them, but you can tell which one they really love by the moaning you hear or by the pushing back with their butt they're doing. Continue using the favored technique the most.
- Gentle Blowing - Blowing in the anal area is a good way to ease your way to analingus. It helps prepare your partner for what's to come, and it feels good, really upping the anticipation level.
- Trace the anus - Slowly trace the anus with your tongue. Take your time. Your partner is probably really enjoying this and is now really ready for even more.
- Tapping - Flutter your tongue or use a tapping motion all around his anal opening.
- Long, flat licks - By the time your tongue is on your partner's anus, they've been anticipating it for so long, that it will feel super good, and their excitement level with soar. Use your tongue with long, flat licks, which will feel like a massage. Reach your tongue all the way to the perineum, slowly licking all the way up to the anal opening. You can vary this by sucking the area.
- Penetration/Thrusting - Use your tongue to probe the anus. Then stiffen it and try to put it inside the anus like you are attempting penetration.
- More penetration - You or your partner might crave more penetration after a good rimming session. If so, you can use a butt plug. The person wearing it can leave it in while doing other things. Wearing it can enhance the sexual experience. A dildo is also good. Choose a smooth, seamless one for anal penetration. These dildos will be flared at the base so they won't go in too far. The dildo goes in slowly, and then the partner using it can vary the speed and the rhythm.
Now that you know what a rim job is, here's something else to know: Rimming might lead to an orgasm. Most people don't cum from only rimming, but it can happen. There are thousands of nerve endings in the anal area. Have your partner do what you like, such as using a toy vaginally, if you'd like to get off. Or move to another sexual act once you feel satisfied.
However, tell your man that he can't go down on your vagina (cunnilingus) after a rim job. There is too much risk of transferring bacteria from the anus to the vagina by doing that. There isn't as much risk when giving analingus to your man and then giving him a blow job, but it's still better to do analingus last.
Rimming can feel fantastic and is especially intimate. Try it at least once for a unique sensation now.
If you want to learn powerful oral sex techniques to use on your man, then you may be interested in the ones in this tutorial video.