It's not a fun situation. You could be married to the most incredible person in the whole world and totally click with them, but if you are not having as much sex as you'd like then you're missing out. This article will help you solve this frustrating problem.
(P.S. If you want to learn my best dirty talking tips & techniques, you'll find them in this powerful instructional video)
Before I get to all the hot techniques you can use to fix your sexless relationship, there are a few important things that I need to cover first so that you fully understand how your marriage became sexless in the first place and how to prevent it from happening again.
How Did It Become A Sexless Marriage In The First Place?
You may have had a super passionate relationship when you first started dating your partner and are now wondering what happend. Or maybe it wasn't even that passionate, but it still fizzled out and now you want answers. Well the truth is that sexless marriages happen because of a few of the following reasons:
- Time, Lousy Time. One of the biggest factors contributing to your sexless marriage is time. As time passes you will naturally become more and more comfortable with your partner. This can be a great thing, but it also has it's drawbacks; the biggest one of which is how this "comfortableness" sucks the passion out of your relationship. There's nothing you can do about time passing obviously, but it's important to be aware that it is indeed a factor.
- Complete Knowledge Of Each Other. The brain craves novel experiences. When you get used to something, your brain acts on autopilot and you are not nearly as excited or engaged as you were previously. So when you know everything about your man, he may not seem as exciting as he once did. The same goes for how he may feel about you. Again this is something that naturally happens as you spend more time together.
- Low Testosterone. One of the hidden problems in sexless marriages is low testosterone. If a guy has low testosterone he just simply isn't going to have as much of a drive for sex when compared to a guy with high testosterone. A drop in testosterone levels is natural as your man ages, but often it can happen quickly due to stress or other factors. If you suspect this is the reason for your sexless marriage, then your man should get his testosterone levels checked by a doctor.
- Religion, Upbringing & Shame. Another serious reason for sexless relationships is psychological. Many men that have been brought up in conservative, strict religious households can have an adverse view on sex and even dislike it. This is usually because they often associate shame and/or guilt with the idea of enjoying sex. If you suspect this is the case, then your man may benefit from talking to a psychologist.
- Lack Of Sexual Tension. Sexual tension (or lack thereof) is probably the single biggest problem in sexless marriages. It's something couples often forget about as they grow more comfortable with each other. Instead of drawing out the build up to sex in a fun, agonizing and pleasurable experience, couples often fall into a routine of simply "turning up" and expecting it to happen.
I'm going to show you some ways to add back the sexual tension to your marriage in a just a little bit. But if you'd like a masterclass in building sexual tension, then you will learn a lot from the incredible tutorial video on the very subject.
Techniques To Fix Your Sexless Marriage
Now that you understand how marriages become sexless in the first place, it's time to learn some techniques to fix yours. Just a quick warning, if you find that your man suffers from sexual shame or has low testosterone, then you're going to need a doctor to fix these problems. For every other problem, you can use one of these techniques
- Build Sexual Tension. This is most important. When you do it right, your man is going to want to rip your clothes off. Building sexual tension involves doing things that make your man think about sex, but make it difficult for it to happen. Try some of the following techniques that I teach in the Bad Girl's Bible newsletter:
- Dirty Text Messages. Sending your man dirty and flirty text message out of nowhere is a great way to build sexual tension. Try saying something like, "Couldn't get you out of my head in the shower this morning" or "Why are you not here when I need you?" Notice how they aren't explicit, but merely hint at something hot and naughty.
- Playful Grabbing & Touching. You hug and kiss your man goodbye every single day when he goes to work. This is obviously something that he's going to be super comfortable with. So change things up by touching him in places he won't expect and at times that don't necessarily call for it. Try grabbing or pinching his butt as he walks past you or try rubbing yourself off him when you are both just hanging out. But don't do anything else! These fairly sexual acts followed by not being sexual is infuriating for guys, but it also turns them on like crazy.
- Public Dirty Talk. The next time you are out with your man in public, try leaning over and whispering something filthy or just a little suggestive in his ear. The fact that he can't act on it is a great way to get his mind thinking about what could happen and help to build sexual tension. The last thing to say on building sexual tension is that it takes time. It's not something that happens overnight, so don't get discouraged if it take a while for your man to start responding.
Use New Blow Job & Sex Techniques
This one is obvious, right? There are so many different sex techniques that will drive your man wild with desire that not trying them out is just crazy. So what techniques should you use? Well I don't want to just regurgitate them all here. I have actually put together an entire tutorial presentation that will teach you my most powerful oral sex techniques. You can watch it here.
More Sexless Marriage on YourTango:
- How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless
- Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover on Ashley Madison
- Love: 7 Undeniable Signs He Loves You