Help! How Do I Know If He's Just Not That Into Me?


Dating: The Right Time To Cancel Your Online Dating Profile
He's logged into his online dating profile. Does that mean he's not that into you?

Dear Sandy,

I am going on a third date with a man I met on I notice he's online 2 or 3 times a day. I login through an empty profile to check, but it sort of tells me he is not really that interested, right? It's particularly confusing to me, because last week he had taken down his profile, and now he is very active again. Should I confront him about this? Should I take down my profile? How can you tell tell if he’s just not that into you?


Dear Donna,

When he logs into it could mean that he’s still exploring his options, which is healthy. If he's good looking, he's probably getting many emails a day, and he’s checking his inbox. So what? You've only dated him twice. If he shut down his profile now, I’d be concerned.

Whatever you do, DO NOT CONFRONT HIM! Unless you want to see a him run for the hills and never call you again. I have a question for you. If you’re logging in, why can’t he?

So, you think he’s just not that into you?

When you're in the initial courting phase of a relationship, why should either of you stop dating online? It's wise to keep your options open until you have spent enough time together to want to make it exclusive. That's when you have the talk about taking profiles down.

I am not sure why he took down his profile last week. It sounds a bit odd to me, but I can pretty much guarantee that it has nothing to do with his commitment to you this early on in your courtship. Nor should you take it as a sign that he's just not that into you.

Don't over-think it and don't make assumptions. Just enjoy the present when you get together for your third date, and don't take down your profile until you're both ready to be exclusive. You may decide after date three that he's not for you. You need time to decide if there is potential for a relationship.

That could take weeks or months. In the meantime, just relax. Be the easy breezy girl and enjoy getting to know him. Don't put the cart before the horse. It usually leads to trouble.

Lots of love,


For more midlife dating advice and a copy of Sandy's FREE report, "The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)" please click here. For exclusive articles and tips on dating, relating and mating in midlife & updates on Sandy's weekly radio show, please Like her Facebook page.

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Sandy Weiner

Dating Coach

Sandy Weiner

For a copy of my FREE report, “The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)” please click here.

If you are serious about finding love this year, there’s nothing like group coaching to keep you accountable and give you solid dating tools that work. In the Last First Date Inner Circle, you'll have access to two monthly topic-based Q & A calls about dating over 40, and a private forum for you to connect and share your experiences. All calls are recorded and transcribed, and you get a free chapter a month of my upcoming book. If you're a woman over 40 and want ongoing coaching support at an affordable rate, check out the LFD Inner Circle today. 

Location: Stamford, CT
Credentials: ACC, CPCC
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Online Dating
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