What's Wrong With Michael Sam Coming Out?

By

Life Coach: Michael Sam's Coming Out
He took one brave step to be himself. But is it paying off or hurting him?

I'll be the first to admit that coming out is not an easy decision. Whether you're living in Smallville, USA or riding the high of being the first openly gay NFL Player like Michael Sam, there are risks and perks to coming out. Some anticipated, others that sneak up and slap in you in the face when least expected.

As Michael's story unfolds in the public eye, I can't help but wonder, "What's wrong with coming out as a public figure?" Of course I quickly answer that question with a resounding "Nothing!" Yet, I can't help but feel tugs of sympathy for Michael, his boyfriend, family and friends, as his life begins to play out on the field of his life. Granted, he's allowed some of this to play out in a bigger way. I get that. It's no different than when I appeared on the "Ricki Lake Show" as a guest expert on coming out. You make a conscious decision to share your life with the public for all to see and criticize.

Of course, I don't believe there is anything wrong with coming out on a grand scale. It wasn't about me being on a national talk show, meeting Ricki Lake or using this opportunity to catapult my business to new heights. My journey to be more public came from two places: 1) to be of service, 2) to educate and 3) to break down barriers so love can blossom. To that end, I'm now questioning:

"What's wrong with Michael Sam Coming Out?"

  1. He's contributing to the demise of the NFL by stripping away the masculinity associated with the sport? Absolutely not! If anything, his open display of kissing his boyfriend and landing a documentary of his journey on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) should inspire other people to live their most authentic life, even if it means risking your career and being pummeled by public opinion.
  2. He's making his teammates and other NFL players uncomfortable in the locker room and on the field. Last time I watched a football game, the most successful wins were due to players thinking about plays from different angles. If Michael's coming out is making others uncomfortable, the question becomes, "Who is that really about? Them or Michael?" No one can make anyone else feel uncomfortable. It is a personal choice to feel uncomfortable, just as it is to feel comfortable.
  3. If he's been dishonest about this, what else has he been hiding? Really? Everyone has things hidden in our closets that we don't want other people to see. Just because someone has chosen to hide their sexual orientation doesn't make them dishonest or lacking integrity, it just means that they have chosen to keep aspects of their life private.
  4. He's making young boys minds believe it's OK to be gay. And what kind of impact is the message that you should hide who you really are having on our children? The more we teach the next generation that it's acceptable and preferred to pretend to be something we're not, the more we perpetuate the idea that lies are acceptable.
  5. He's a weak link! Let's do the math. An NFL team is permitted to have 53 active players on their roster at any given time. On game day, 46 of the 53 are allowed to dress out for the game. Now I'm not a raving football fan, but I've watched enough games to know that not all 46 players are going to play. I've also watched enough games and listened to the commentaries to know that many a player, Quarterbacks included, have been called "The weak link!" Yet, in all those commentaries and games, not once has someone said, "He's a weak link because he just got divorced," or "He's not doing his best today because he was caught sleeping with his mistress." Are we really going to make this part of the conversation? Is Michael going to get blamed because Sam Bradford is too distracted by the presence of a gay man in the locker room? Every team has weak links and weak players. Until the weakness is identified, don't blame it on the gay player.

So again I ask, "What's wrong with Michael Sam Coming Out?"

Nothing whatsoever. In fact, hopefully he inspires others to follow his example and stop being afraid of living authentically. If an NFL player can do it, so can you.

Feeling like you're not good enough? Tired of playing to please? Give yourself a complimentary life coaching session if for no other reason than to say, "I'm worth it!"

More Life Coach Advice on YourTango: 

Article contributed by

Rick Clemons

Author

Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

Join Rick's Monthly "Guyz Like Us" Free Coaching Call For Gay Men!

Connect with Rick through his Coming Out & Life Coaching Newsletter.

Schedule A Discovery Session - Click Here

Twitter - @rickclemons
Facebook -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Rick The Coming Out Coach
You Tube Channel -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Coming Out Coach

Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Rick Clemons:

I'm Gay And I Know How To Get A Girlfriend Better Than You Do

By

Let's not jump to conclusions and assume that because you're reading this article, you're flirting with your own version of 50 Shades Of Gay. It's OK to absorb a gay guy's perspective on dating and relationships. It wasn't too long ago, after all, that Queer Eye For The Straight Guy became a rockin' little empire. The men on it ... Read more

Life Lessons From A Man Who Just Turned 51

By

Today is my birthday. Not a milestone one by some accounts, but from my perspective it is. I'm no longer the Big 5-0, I'm now officially 50+. A distinction that most people either love or hate. Personally I'm going for a deep dive into the "Let's live like we're dying" tank and moving on until my journey takes me off this ... Read more

Are Closeted Gay Men Cheaters?

By

Emotional, physical, and intimate disconnects often lead to infidelity. So does hiding in the closet. But who's to blame for the "hidden agenda?" In my five years as The Coming Out Coach, I've worked with a little over 100 people from all walks of life, who have finally taken that brave step forward to be honest with themselves about their ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular