How Far Would You Go To Support Gay Marriage?

Mike Moroski, 12-year teaching veteran at Purcell Marian High School in Cincinnati, is now unemployed because he took a stand and expressed his beliefs about gay marriage. His story made headlines when school administrators fired Moroski for statements supporting the cause on his personal blog.

What might surprise you is that Moroski is heterosexual, Catholic and married to a woman. In other words, he's sticking to his values and lost his job because of it. Speaking on behalf of the gay community, we appreciate your support and hate it when anyone loses friends, family or jobs because of their stance in support of gay issues. Now the question arises: Was it all worth it?

Is sticking to your values more important than your job? If so, how hard are you willing to fight and what are you willing to give up?This dilemma isn't just about gay issues; it's about human conditions as a whole. For example: Standing up for your religious beliefs, fighting for equal pay for equal work, and believing that no child should be left behind. Yet, in the case of Mr. Moroski and others who've taken the brave stance to support of the gay community at work, there is a price to be paid.

But it doesn't have to be. In fact, more and more companies are adopting highly detailed and specific diversity programs to deal with LGBT discrimination. Many corporations now strive to be included on the yearly index of best places to work by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). Over 100 companies, from all industries, appear on this list annually after being rigorously scored against HRC's criteria. This begs the question, What about your workplace? How would it fare if scored by HRC and where would you end up if you came out or showed support for the gay community?

Each of us has our own values that we live by and carefully consider what battles we choose to fight. During those moments of introspection, we often find ourselves wandering down a slippery slope of "What if's?" In reality, without a crystal ball to guide us towards our future, anything is possible. Even with protections in place by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission [EEOC] which address discrimination based on marital status, political affiliation, status as a parent, sexual orientation or transgender (Gender Identity) status, you or someone you care about may find themselves in a similar situation as Moroski.

Right or wrong isn't necessarily the first question to consider when you decide to wave the rainbow flag from your cubicle or stand your ground in support of gay rights. Here are some other considerations for you to think about:

1. What do you really want to achieve? Do you want a sense of security? Do you desire for a more "gay-friendly" work environment? Are you simply expressing your beliefs? Regardless of what it is, digging in and knowing exactly why this is important to you will help you stay strong, regardless of the storms that come your way during the journey. Keep reading ...

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2. Will your company support you? Do your research. No matter how accepting or in-line with a particular issue an organization may be, there is always the chance that the company is only in support because they have to, not because they want to. If this is the case, take into account your own well-being, both mentally and physically before you take a stand and venture out.

3. What's your "gaydar" telling you? Gaydar: the ability to sniff out a homosexual in any crowd. At least that's my definition. Some of us are blessed with a very acute gaydar; and others not so much. Either way, do some internal investigating. Are there others who are LGBT in your organization? If so, are they out? Is there a diversity program for LGBT employees? Is the general vibe of the organization derogatory or supportive towards the LGBT community? Whether it's your gaydar, what you see or what you hear, encourage these senses to guide you as to what steps you should take.

4. Find ways to subtlely introduce your workplace to the issue. I remember the first time I said "My partner and I..." in front of my new boss. I didn't do it to get a reaction; I just slipped it into the conversation. Once you've confirmed that your coworker and bosses are accepting to having your kind on the company roster, take it slow and steady. It doesn't mean you're a wimp or not worthy of being seen for who you truly are. At the end of the "battle for gay rights," it's often the simple photo of your partner on your desk or the "COEXIST" bumper sticker on your car that can open the dialogue.

5. Show compassion. If you find yourself feeling compelled to stand up for your lesbian co-worker's rights at the company picnic and feel that a sack race is the answer to bring everything to a head, just remember that it starts with being compassionate...and there's nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned sack race, just saying. On the other hand, when the conversations and the battles present themselves, people respond more positively when you remind them that it's really about human rights. Keeping it about treating each other as humans, respecting dissenting points of view and maybe even taking the discussion off the clock and out of the work environment, could be the best way to win friends and influence people.

There's always the opportunity, regardless of what the issues are or what side of the fence you stand on, to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Of course the trick is always to decide if their shoes match your outfit. And if they don't just realize they're still human, they have their own fashion sense and their own point of view. Regardless, they should still be treated with respect.

Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach
ICF Assocaiate Certified Coach, Certified Professional Coach (CPC), Energy Leader Index, Master Practioner (ELI-MP)

Rick Clemons is a Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show guest, blogger, author, and Sex Coach U Faculty Member, who lovingly addresses the many facets of Coming Out for all who are touched by this Journey. Rick also hosted his own radio show, The Coming Out Lounge, and has been an expert guest on numerous other radio shows, and in print on national blogs.

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How Far Would You Go To Support Gay Marriage?

One Catholic school administrator lost his job. Would you sacrifice yours?

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