Men and women are different. Our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different, and our emotional needs are different. What usually happens is that men do for women what men need and women do for men what women need. We tend to give what we want to receive. So, in the case of relationships, do NOT do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
This month’s article will focus on what women wish men knew about them by listing below just a few ways men can better understand their partners. Please see last month’s article: The Emotional Differences between Men and Women – Part One, What Men Wished Women Knew About Them.
Ladies, please share the following with your men!
“I need to rant.” A woman feels validated, understood, and supported when a man listens to her. When a woman has a problem, talking to her partner about whatever issues there may be is, in itself, a resolution. A woman talks out her problems to relieve stress.
A man often misinterprets a woman’s need to talk as asking for advice. He may immediately start offering advice, perhaps even interrupting, when he believes he has the solution. When a man sees a problem, he wants to fix it. He wants to “stamp out” the problem as quickly as possible and does not see the need to know every single detail.
A woman can get frustrated by this, because she is not getting the help she needs. Many times, a woman is not seeking solutions or advice. When a woman talks out her problems, she merely needs her partner to listen attentively, let her vent, and provide her with positive feedback to show that he is listening, such as nodding or statements like:
- “I see what you mean.”
- “And then what happened?”
- “I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”
These responses nurture her feminine side and relieve her stress.
“I go down an emotional well.” Women may suddenly sink down emotionally when her problems have been piling up or she isn’t feeling emotionally supported or when she feels vulnerable and hurt for whatever reason. She may start expressing how she really feels inside in an almost attacking manner and may start to talk in extremes. Often heard are statements like:
- “I do everything!”
- “No one listens to me anymore!”
- “We never go anywhere!”
A man can take these statements personally, interpreting these statements as directed toward him. He may be tempted to respond with statements like:
- “That is not true!”
- “And you think I do nothing!”
- “What’s wrong now!”
A man should also never say any of the following statements when his partner is stressed: