How To Stay Motivated If Finding Someone To Date Seems Impossible


When you feel like hope is gone, put these three tips to work to find your last-first date!

Zig Ziglar once said: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Unfortunately, in modern day society, it is often that dating and relationships are short-lived. Trust me, after my participation in a reality dating blog--in which I went on 92 NYC dates in one year and blogged about them--I truly understand what a short shelf life a lot of “relationships” have these days. From my personal experience and what I learned living vicariously through hundreds of clients, something is happening that is prevent a whole lot of people from transitioning into serious relationships.

A lot of people around me believe dating is just a waste of their time, effort, makeup, and hard-earned cash. Most of these people live in NY or LA. It's true: the amount of dates between the first and last tends to be even shorter when daters reside in the big cities! Blame it on all of the options, the tendency for city-dwelling singles to be more focused on their career, or the grass-is-always-greener-mentality that seems to be a side effect of the online dating scene that is so popular in large metropolitan areas.

When it feels like you are encountering one bad date after the next, keeping your motivation up is as seemingly difficult as J Lo’s ability to stay married! (Sorry, I had to go there!) If you are losing hope in actually connecting with the people you date, but still believe in love like the fabulous Jenny From The Block, get yourself together and look at each day as a fresh, new opportunity to find your potential last- first date!

Easier said than done, perhaps, but your life will be a while lot easier if you implement some of the very strategies I share with clients who face the same issues as you to. When in doubt:

Increase Your Options: The key to staying motivated is realizing that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Remember, you are never stuck with one person when you are single! Especially when you live in The Big Apple!  (A lot of ladies, in particular, complain about the female to male ratio that favors the men. But here are plenty of places to meet cute guys So if the current guy you are dating doesn’t respect you, release his sorry ass and make space for a better guy to come along! You can always sign up for an online dating site. Meeting a bunch of new men will be a wonderful way to forget all about him and get your “single swag” back on where it belongs!

Set Boundaries: Dating can be exhausting—especially when you agree to go out with people you aren’t excited about on days when you aren’t excited about meeting them! Timing is everything when comes to connecting with a potential match. If you are sick or tired, it’s best to reschedule. Learn to say no. And don’t even think about participating in activities that don’t interest you for the sake of pleasing your date. If a date at a museum like The Met bores you to tears, how good of an impression are you really going to make on her? Women may want to set boundaries around having sex, and despite the difficulty this can present, it is a totally perfect strategy for weeding out the men from the boys, 

Keep Your Eyes On The Prize: Yes, it’s the journey that really counts! You may not believe it now, but these horrible experiences you are having in an attempt to find a meaningful new relationship will pay off in the end. They will  be more than just stories for you to laugh about with friends. Your experiences will make you stronger, more patient, and more able to love and appreciate the lucky one(s) you end up with. Visualize how much better your life will be when it is filled with love, and you will find the strength to get out of those sweatpants and go find someone dateable!

Happy Dating!  If you need help making your dating experience a little happier, send an email to

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