Orgasm During Intercourse: Here's How

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Orgasm During Intercourse: Here's How
Female orgasm during intercourse is rare, but not impossible. Here's how to get to the big O.

Want to have more orgasms during intercourse? Read on to discover how. You may also want to listen to our Pleasure Mechanics podcast episode on Female Orgasm During Intercourse! If you have any questions after reading this article, we offer free personal sex advice: Ask Us Anything!

Many women are concerned about their inability to have orgasms during intercourse. Women have been taught that the ultimate sexual achievement is simultaneous orgasm during intercourse. Sadly, this myth creates a huge amount of needless anxiety and distracts women from their authentic experience of sexual pleasure. When women focus on having orgasms during intercourse, they are ignoring the basic facts of their sexual anatomy. Here's the real deal: the clitoris is the centerpiece of the female sexual system, and clitoral stimulation is how most women experience orgasms. The clitoris is the anatomical match to the penis, so just imagine men trying to reach orgasm without touching their penis and you'll get a sense of how essential clitoral stimulation is to female orgasm! 

Most women do not have orgasms from intercourse alone, but rather from focused clitoral stimulation. For most women, skilled fingering or oral sex is a much easier way to have orgasms with their partners. Most studies reveal that 60-80% of women never have orgasms during intercourse, and yet a lot of women hesitate to ask their lovers to bring them to a sexual climax through other sexual activities. Our culture's relentless emphasis on intercourse creates a lot of pressure to enjoy intercourse as the main event when the reality is that many women find other kinds of sexual stimulation preferable to reach an orgasm.

The Golden Rule For Orgasms During Intercourse

One of our Pleasure Mechanics Golden Rules of Sex is this: Have Orgasms Before Intercourse. If an orgasm is out of reach, her partner can at least bring her to very high levels of arousal before penetrating. At all costs, penetration without any arousal must be avoided! Being penetrated too quickly without warm-up is one of the most common reasons for painful and unfulfilling intercourse. To make intercourse more pleasurable for a woman, it is essential to start by creating lots of arousal or orgasms. Most women find penetration way more pleasurable after an orgasm, and are sometimes even orgasmic during intercourse after lots of warm-up orgasms!  A woman’s lover can get her ready for penetration by arousing her or creating one (or more) orgasms through manual stimulation or oral sex, or a woman can give herself an orgasm by touching her own clitoris or using a vibrator.

Many people think about the clitoris as an external structure. But what you can see is just the tip of the iceberg. The clitoris extends deep into the body, with branches of nerves traveling down the sides of the labia and back into the vagina. Once the clitoris has been warmed up and activated through fingering or oral sex, penetration becomes much more pleasurable, as the roots of the clitoris are turned on and ready to be stimulated through internal stimulation. There is now evidence that many of the nerve endings in the g-spot are actually the back part of the clitoral structure, so clitoral stimulation is essential to activate the pleasure potential of the g-spot. Arousal and orgasms bring lots of blood flow to the vagina, relax tension and prepare the body to be penetrated. 

This doesn't mean that intercourse isn't important. For many heterosexual couples, it is a very important form of sexual intimacy. What is essential is that couples take a lot of time for foreplay and then focus on the sexual activities that create lots of arousal or bring the woman to orgasm before moving on to intercourse. If you want to increase the chances of having an orgasm during intercourse, be sure to add clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The woman can either touch her own clitoris or use a vibrator as her lover penetrates her. It is possible for a man to reach down and stimulate the clit as he penetrates a woman, and this is easier in certain positions like doggy style as you can reach around and touch the clitoris while still maintaining the rhythm of penetration. Every combination of bodies is different, so enjoy the explorations of how you can best stimulate the clitoris to create more potential for orgasm during intercourse.

Female orgasms during intercourse are not impossible - but they are not as common as our culture would have us believe! Orgasms during intercourse are much more common if the woman is already orgasmic from receiving erotic touch or oral sex before intercourse begins. This is the blessing of female multiple orgasms at work! So if you want to experience more orgasmic intercourse, make sure you have orgasms before penetration starts. Enjoy the process of getting warmed up and highly aroused, and intercourse will become much more pleasurable for you both.

More orgasm advice from YourTango

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