Transform a boring BJ into an erotic event.
Intimacy is all about closeness, the emotional and physical "togetherness" of love. Intimacy doesn't come from a physical act, but from the attitude you bring to one another. A hug can be way more intimate than intercourse, depending on how present, vulnerable and authentic you and your lover can be together.
Many of us crave more intimacy, but the stress and distraction of everyday life gets in the way. Intimacy is often intense in the beginning of a relationship and then becomes more elusive, no matter how much you love one another. The good news is that intimacy can be something you actively create and practice together.
To get your man on board, why not seduce him with an intensely intimate blow job? He'll love every minute of it, and hopefully the intimacy will carry over into your life and future lovemaking. Here's how to transform it into an incredibly intimate erotic event.
1. Make him feel special.
Set aside some time to give him a truly unforgettable erotic experience. Just be coy and let the anticipation build. Spend time doing things that make him feel special, cared for and loved.
You might want to cook him his favorite meal while he relaxes with a glass of wine, or let him watch a game while you serve him beers. Anything you can do to let him know you're paying attention to him and want to pleasure him will go a long way toward increasing the intimacy of your connection.
2. Take pleasure from making him feel good.
All too often we think about sex as a game of mutual pleasure — you try to pleasure your lover while simultaneously receiving pleasure from their touch. There's a lot to be gained by taking turns giving and receiving. Oral sex is perfect for taking turns. You can be focused on giving him as much pleasure as you can, while his only job is to relax and receive.
Start with a luxurious full-body massage and then start getting him aroused by pressing your body into his, running your hands, nipples and hair up and down his body. By the time you start focusing on oral sex, you'll have his complete attention.
3. Make it a gift, not a chore.
Choose to approach oral sex as a tremendous gift of pleasure that you're giving. True gifts are offered with enthusiasm and joy, not reluctance. So get yourself in the mood to lavish him with pleasure, and then bring tons of enthusiasm to the act.
Make noise, wave your butt around in the air, and make it clear that there's nowhere you'd rather be. You'll create a force field of erotic energy between you and your lover.
4. Maintain eye contact.
One of the most intimate erotic acts is simple eye contact. When you're gazing into your lover's eyes, you're present and paying attention to them in an undeniable way. So as you go down on your man, look up and lock eyes. Keep pleasuring him as you hold eye contact. Let your love beam up at him through your eyes.
5. Massage his chest to connect with his heart.
As you give him oral sex, reach up and massage his chest. You can use massage oil and glide down from his chest, across his belly and around his hips. Or simply rest your hand on his heart.
Stimulating his sexual system at the same time you're touching his heart area is a magical formula for intimacy. It will bring his attention to his emotions and feelings, which hopefully will be lots of love and affection for you.
6. Slow things down.
When you have a good thing going, slow way down and make it last. Learn how to use your hands in combination with your mouth so you can keep the pleasure going while giving yourself a break once in awhile. When you come up for air, talk to him.
Simple questions like "Does this feel good?" and "Want more?" will go a long way toward opening up communication. You can also say simple things like "I love you." Never underestimate the power of a few loving words to increase intimacy.
7. Let him enjoy the afterglow.
Savor the precious moments after his climax. Give him space to enjoy his afterglow while staying connected. Curl up next to him and just breathe together, enjoy the silence and rest. Giving him a few minutes to stay in his pleasure bubble will complete the experience for him, and then you can reconnect with him once he's ready.