When we started offering free personalized sex advice on our website, we knew we would get some interesting questions. But one of the most common questions we are asked is also the most simple. Everyone wants to know how to last longer in bed!
While there are specific techniques for guys who want to last longer in bed (and we offer an ebook on the subject here), what most people want to know is how to make their erotic experience last longer from start to finish. They want a more satisfying, exciting erotic experience overall, not just longer intercourse. So for everyone who wants to know how to last longer in bed and have more fulfilling sexual encounters, read on. Here are our top 10 suggestions on how to last longer in bed.
More from YourTango: Nuru Massage: A Slippery, Sexy Erotic Adventure
1. Savor The Seduction
Many long term couples schedule sex, a common strategy to make sure intimacy doesn't fall to the bottom of their to-do lists. If you know you have a sex date coming up, begin seducing your lover a few days in advance. And even if you don't have a date night planned, make the effort to seduce your lover all week long. On your own, start thinking about what you might like to experience. Do you want a relaxing full body massage? Or perhaps you want to be a bit wilder this week? Let your own anticipation build, tease your lover by telling them how excited you are for your date night and notice what happens. When you get your mind on board, your body will start anticipating the big event.
2. Kiss Like A Teenager
Remember when you were a teenager, and would make out for hours on the couch? Remember the thrill, the excitement of simply kissing? Where did that thrill go? It's time to find it again. If you really want to know how to last longer in bed, start by spending more time kissing. Really make out, letting your lips and hands explore one another's clothed bodies. Take turns kissing and being kissed. Kiss with lips only for awhile, and enjoy this most basic form of intimacy. Let the desire begin building up in your body!
3. Undress Slowly
You don't have to offer an elaborate strip tease to enjoy the process of undressing together (though, that could be a good twist to your date night!). Simply take the opportunity to enjoy watching one another undress. Many couples start with a shower, either alone or together. Linger in the bathroom together, and enjoy looking at each other. If you have body shame or don't like being seen, dare yourself to allow your lover to see you in your nude glory. Trust that they find you beautiful (after all, of the billions of bodies on this earth, they have chosen yours!) and allow the charge to build as you drink one another in with your eyes. Tell your lover what you find hot about their body, and gracefully receive any compliments they offer you.
4. Start With Massage
One of the hardest parts about squeezing sex into a busy life is making the transition from your everyday life to the erotic zone. The absolute best way to de-stress and get turned on is by sharing massage with your lover. Learn how to offer deep, satisfying massage at home and take five or ten minutes to exchange massage before you start making love. Massage encourages you to relax and breathe deeply. A great foot massage, back massage or (our favorite) butt massage will prime your body for more pleasure. Every minute of massage feels like an eternity of pleasure, making it a perfect tool for anyone who wants to know how to last longer in bed!
More from YourTango: Bondage Basics For Better Sex
5. Explore Every Inch
After you have warmed up one another's bodies with luxurious massage, transition to the erotic zone by exploring every inch of each other. Use a wide range of erotic touch techniques, from a featherlight caress to rough scratching to touch your lover's entire body. Tease your lover by getting oh-so-close to their most sensitive spots and then circling away. Explore sensitive areas like the neck, wrists and behind the knees. Pay close attention to how your lover responds and you'll quickly find some new favorite ways to turn them on! Keep reading...
More sex advice from YourTango: