Want to know how to fist a woman? You are not alone! As sex educators we get asked this question a lot, from both men and women who want to experience the intensity of fisting. Fisting is the erotic act of penetrating the vagina (or anus, but that is the subject of another article entirely!) with the entire hand. Fisting is a form of large penetration that can feel highly arousing to many women. Inside the vagina, there aren’t a whole lot of nerve endings that detect subtle sensations, but there are a lot of pressure receptors. Many women love the sensation of being “filled up” and that deep internal pressure can be very stimulating.
Fisting is sometimes thought of as an extreme and brutal sex act - but it doesn’t have to be! Fisting can actually be very serene and peaceful or can of course be more rough. Like any sex act, the experience of fisting depends way more on the attitude and intentions you bring rather than the act itself. You can learn how to fist with grace and skill so it is an intensely pleasurable act that she loves. If you’d rather listen to a podcast about how to fist, you can find that here as part of our Speaking of Sex podcast.
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Fisting is a bad name for this sex act, as many people have the mental image of creating a rigid fist and shoving it inside. Forget that image and instead think about the slow introduction of one finger at a time, gradually opening up the vagina and only introducing more fingers when she is ready. Learning how to fist will teach you how to pay attention to her arousal, penetrating her gently and at the pace that is right for her body.
One of the most essential skills to develop in learning how to fist is the art of folding your hand into a penetration-friendly shape. One or two fingers usually fit inside nicely, but when you go bigger than that you need to learn how to wedge your hand. Start by tucking your ring and index finger on top of your middle finger - see how that creates a nice pyramid shape? Then fold in your pinky and thumb to create the most compact shape you can. You may have to stretch and massage your hand to increase flexibility so you can tuck your hand in more tightly!