How the popularity of this steamy series could spell trouble.
Did you sigh with relief when Fifty Shades Of Grey faded from the local nightly and print news? The break from the giddy sensualism came to a noisy halt as millions of fans cheered the release of the Fifty Shades Of Grey movie trailer. They're already counting down for the movie set for a 2015 Valentine's Day weekend for an unforgettable Date Experience. And don't forget author E. L. James's promotion of her new collection of sex toys in time for Christmas.
According to Wikipedia, the trilogy "has sold over 100 million copies worldwide" and been translated into 52 languages. The book sets a new record for "the fastest-selling paperback of all time," surpassing the Harry Potter series.
While men haven't been as big on reading the erotic romance as women, some reviewers think that will change with the movie. As their wives read passages from the books to them, some husbands are already imitating Christian Grey. One husband explained, "When I go out the door to work I say, 'Laters, baby,' and she giggles. I know she'll be ready for sex when I get home."
Could there be a new sexual revolution forming of sadism, masochism and humiliation?
Reading about millions of women clamoring for Fifty Shades of Grey makes me fear that we are on the threshold of a new sexual revolution that will rival the one in the '60s and '70s. Women are throwing off the sexual ignorance of society and religion still steeped in Queen Victoria's ploy to make lovemaking politically incorrect. The irony is, Queen Victoria enjoyed romping with the prince and even painted male nudes for him. She decorated their private quarters to keep them ready for sex and referred to their activities as "fun." Sadly, many women and their husbands still pay the price for centuries of ignorant political correctness. But suddenly millions of women are shouting, "No more!" And their husbands are rejoicing and asking what they can do to keep their women interested in lovemaking.
Unfortunately, the 50-Shades-of-Grey sexual revolution will leave people more sexually frustrated than ever. Why? Because Grey, the "sadistic dominate" of the series, totally lacks empathy. He doesn't have a clue about how to bond emotionally with a woman. Rather than mutual pleasure dictating his desire for sex, Grey seeks a "masochistic submissive" who will yield to any kind of pain he enjoys administering. He explains to Ana Steele in the first book that he wants to hurt her — to give her as much pain as she can stand.
While E. L. James attempted to show some redemption of Grey, especially in Book 2, Book 3 ends hinting at Grey's backsliding into his own dark world. His inner thoughts flashback to the first time he saw Ana. Reading his mental desires to hurt her on the last pages of the book, the reader is left wondering if Grey will soon revert to his old ways. Of course, that's a clever way to leave the series open to sequels — perhaps even one from Grey's viewpoint of depravity. But it also reveals that while Grey may feign some changes on the outside, Ana has not truly touched his heart. After the first sex scene in Book 1, Ana gushed to Grey about "making love." Grey quickly corrected her saying, "I don't make love." Book 3 reveals that instead of Grey learning how to love a woman physically and mentally, Ana's language is now full of the f-word. She changed more than he did.
Now men and women are imitating Grey and Ana.
While the husband saying, "Laters, baby," sounds innocent enough, already men and women are modeling the pain portrayed in the books. It took a jury only two hours to find a male imitator, Steven Lock, not guilty of a Fifty Shades of Grey inspired attack on a woman. They based their verdict on the woman sending a contract to Lock similar to the one Ana read before having sex with Grey. Lock said they got their ideas from reading the books. The sexual revolution has begun.
The sexual revolution of the '60s rebelled against the uptight sexual attitudes and frigidity of Victorian parents and grandparents. This sexual revolution takes advantage of the inhibitions and naivety of both men and women. These books open the door to replacing the missionary position with painful sadistic and masochistic encounters of bondage.
Sadism, masochism and humiliation of both men and women have always thrived in the brothels. Reay Tannahill in her book Sex in History tells about an ancient manual that offered clients choices by, "Dividing male addicts into three classes — those who enjoyed being whipped by a woman, those who preferred to whip the woman, and those who derived their excitement simply from watching (something a brothel owner could always arrange for a paying customer.) In other words, masochists, sadists and voyeurs, all of them classified by modern psychoanalysts as suffering from sexual perversion." It may be only a short time before these sexual perversions take over the norm — delighting in being hurt (masochism), enjoying hurting someone (sadism), or watching people being hurt (voyeurism). This is much different than using bondage while pleasuring someone. This is using restraints to take someone to the limit of their ability to endure pain and maybe beyond as the criminal case against Steven Lock demonstrated.
Why does Fifty Shades of Grey turn women on?
Interviews show women of all ages, including 80-year-olds, are openly reliving their teenage fantasies. One woman stated, "You know how you read these books in school and they promised that you'd feel fireworks, and that the earth would move — all my life I've been waiting for the earth to move." (Donna Hussey-Whyte, Fifty Shades Of Debauchery, Jamaica Observer, July 23, 2012.) Essentially, women are starved for passionate lovemaking and emotional bonding. They want what Queen Victoria had with the prince, but denied her subjects through political dictates. Because they have not experienced these in their marriages, they fail to recognize how pathetic Grey is. Grey's actions demean both femininity and sexual love which originated within the mind of God to give his people pleasure that transcends spoken words.
A new sexual revolution of sadism, masochism and humiliation to replace the missing love in marriages? E. L. James and Universal Studios are counting on it. They're busy orchestrating a tantalizing campaign to generate a watching frenzy for the movie beginning with the well-timed release of the Fifty Shades Of Grey trailer. In the meantime, E. L. James is marketing her new book-themed sex toys for Christmas gifts for "frustrated housewives." A new sexual revolution? Time will tell.
Readers describe Patsy Rae Dawson as the most outspoken Christian woman on sex referring to her frankness and comfortableness talking about sex. Her unique ability to unlock the scriptures and challenge traditional views makes her a popular speaker and writer. She is the author of God's People Make the Best Lovers and God's People Appreciate Marriage (which includes a verse-by-verse study of the Song of Solomon).
She has CDs on The Song of Solomon: God's Sex Education for ages 11 to 99 and Challenges in Marriage: What To Do When Sin Inhibits Love. Sign up for her newsletter called Embarrass the Alligator where Patsy talks about the good, the bad and the ugly of marriage so we can enjoy a literal taste of heaven. PatsyRaeDawson.com and EmbarrasstheAlligator.com