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6 Oh-So-Simple Ways To Invite Love Into Your Life (Every Single Day)

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why you can't find love
Love

You deserve love. So let it in!

“What matters most to you?" I asked curiously.

The dark haired lady at the checkout counter looked up from her pile of documents and said with a surprised smile, "Love. If we had more of it, we would not create this insanity in our world.”

Wisdom of the sages can be found at the local post office, too.

What does it take to have more love? A good dose of courage.

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Opening the heart, so we can really love and be loved, sounds simple  but it’s challenging, too. We fear the blows and other hurts on the bumpy road of life.

It’d be so easy if only everyone was nice all the time, and those who behave crappy are sent off to a faraway island. Well, that probably would be everyone in the end…

In reaction to difficulties and pain we often armor our tender hearts, and by hiding our human vulnerability we heap more suffering unto the world.

How does it feel when you shut down, build walls of cement, or lock your heart in a tight box (and lose the key, too)?

What a dilemma, though, to the extent you have closed down you are cut off from love, feel disconnected from others, and the natural pulse of life. You have disappeared into space, disassociated from your body and live in the mind, safe from the dangers in the world at last.

Or so it seems...

You may fiercely defend your fortress by using sharp weapons like attack and judgment, or by trying hard to control people  a common way to keep others at bay and to let fear run the show.

When the heart gets knotted up, it’s like having no air to breathe; you die a silent death, barely surviving you might have plunged into a dark hole and can’t find a way out.

To top it off, a myriad of complications in relationships arise from this closed heart and disconnect, and our own suffering spreads out on the living room floor.

Instead of creating such a sad state of affairs, you can turn toward the hardness, the fear, and those uninvited guests. You can become friends with your own vulnerability and that of our fellow humans.

Yes, you can learn to ride the waves, feel all your feelings and tend with loving awareness to your experience in this moment, without escape.

Courage grows as you take the risk to open and meet the whole enchilada: the twinkle of joy and the tears of pain in this life.

For, when the layers of protection crumble, you discover the beauty of a heart that truly knows love.

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You feel alive, you touch, taste and experience life intimately.

Love then is not just a word, but is discovered in the smell of fresh baked bread, you hear it singing through a bird, experience it with your friend’s warm hand on your back, and through speaking a kind word or helping another across the street.

Can we let our hearts become as wide as the world in answer to the horror and beauty we encounter in life, and act on it, to make a difference?

And will you allow yourself to drink deep from the well to fill up and pour forth love like there is no tomorrow?

When I remember the stark reality, that indeed this could be my final day, I ask: what would I live today?

This question gets right to the core and moves us to take action in the right direction: What matters most to you? What do you want to leave behind before you depart?

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These 6 Magic Keys open the door to experience more love every day:

1. Appreciation.

It's a way of seeing, an ability to find goodness right here where we are.

Giving voice to appreciation increases our own well-being and in our relationships.

We can express appreciation for qualities and actions: “You are beautiful” or “I appreciate how much time and effort you put into fixing the car.” Don’t wait to offer appreciation until another performs perfectly, that day will never come.

Appreciate every little bit you notice. Watch what happens if you apply this simple practice every day  of course for yourself, too!

 

2. Presence.

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We have heard it  being present is the gift.

Without being present, no love is possible, as no one is home.

Practice awareness, notice what you feel, observe your thoughts, and sense your body in this moment. Let yourself focus on the now, what you are experiencing and what is happening with another exactly in this moment.

You may just notice a bigger space in which you are held, supported and you can relax into fully being here.

 

3. Curiosity.

Have you noticed how struggling against the stream gets you nowhere? How judging, analyzing, trying to figuring it all out just tangles you into a tight knot and leaves you anxious?

Apply curiosity, it cuts through fear quite nicely and opens the heart and mind.

Inquiry questions can free you: “I wonder how this situation will unfold? I am curious to discover the world of my partner. What am I feeling? How might we resolve this issue together?”

A child experiences natural wonder and love because they are innocently curious to discover life.

 

4. Acknowledgment.

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We can only start where we are.

When you feel stressed, disconnected, guarded and don’t feel loving at all, then admit that honestly to yourself without judgment.

Accept what is here, even if you do not like it and let yourself soften.

Notice what happens when you welcome the feelings (yes, even the pain or anger) without rejecting, resisting and clinging. Don’t act out your crabbiness, nor suppress your feelings.

Give it all room and breath to be here first, then can you shift and move toward more openness.

 

5. Heartfullness.

Place your hand on your heart and breathe several times deeply into this area.

Then bring your attention toward appreciating something, like the food you eat, the flowers in your garden, the smile from your child…let it be the simple things.

Connect with what is good in the other and in you. Feel the sense of warmth emerging. Revel in this one taste and let it fill you.

Then pass it forward by sharing an appreciation with someone. Watch what happens.

 

6. Words of love.

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These are simple yet powerful words you can apply to yourself and others.

Make sure you mean and feel it, when you express them: “I am here with you. I hear you. I see you. I care about you. I appreciate you“.

Dare to offer what most people are longing for; believe me, every drop matters in a desert land.

Just today, and the days after that too —  dare to love and let yourself be loved, no matter what.

 

Dr. Nicola Amadora works with individuals and groups across the world for 30 years. She is a Psychologist, Hakomi Therapist, Mindfulness Teacher, Relationship and Leadership Educator, Public Speaker and Writer. Connect with her: nicolaamadora.com