Having collected relationship red flag stories from thousands of women, we've read some pretty unbelievable accounts of men's not-so-nice (to put it lightly) behavior. We've also noticed somewhat of a pattern: Certain red flags—warning signs we define as indications that there might be an underlying issue in your relationship—kept appearing on our radar.
While the guys in question may differ, their terrible behavior is anything but original. Here are six common big red flags that you should be aware of. Keep these in the back of your mind as you navigate your romantic relationships and—trust us on this one—run from any guy who commits them.
1. He's not really your boyfriend.
Many of us have been there: kinda-sorta seeing a guy, hooking up with him consistently, but not really knowing where we stand … or lay. We've learned the hard way that just because you're sleeping with a guy, going out to dinner, receiving flowers from him on your birthday, and spending the night at his place every weekend, you're not "official" unless you've had "the talk." You Know You Might Be a Booty Call If...
The way we see it, if you're not sure whether or not you're a guy's girlfriend, you probably aren't. However, men only get away with non-committal behavior because we let them. Either we buy into the idea that the dude should always be the one to take the lead and initiate some kind of "what are we?" discussion or we're too chicken to ask. It's totally normal to fear rejection—sometimes not knowing is a lot more bearable than hearing "no." And, sure, by not bringing it up, you'll be able to stay in your whatever-this-is state longer. But, as any gal who's been in relationship purgatory can attest, the confusion can cause more anxiety than a missed period. If your bed buddy isn't man enough to define your relationship, even after you muster the courage to ask him directly what's really going one between you two, he deserves the boot.
2. He's inconsiderate.
Relationships consist of two people who've chosen to share their lives. When you enter into a partnership there's an expected level of consideration (and respect) for each other, like, for instance, calling when you say you're going to call or offering to pick your significant other from the airport. The sort of things you typically want to do for the person you care about.
We say typically because we know all to well that some guys are anything but caring to the women in their lives. For this red flag, pay attention to your man's small gestures—like if he stops at Jack 'n the Box for a milkshake on the way to your house but forgets to bring you a treat. Inconsiderate acts early on tend to escalate the more comfortable a man becomes with the situation, and pretty soon you'll be in a one-way relationship headed full speed for resentment.
3. He doesn't show up.
Just because something is important to you, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's important to your boyfriend. Still, he should support you in your endeavors, even if that entails sitting through your performance in The Vagina Monologues.