What is the single most important thing for a lasting relationship and why do couples neglect it?
By Nanice Ellis — Written on Apr 10, 2013
What is the element that almost guarantees the success and longevity of any relationship? It is fulfilling the emotional needs of our significant other. When we feel good and fulfilled in any relationship, it is because our emotional needs are being met, and when we feel empty and unfulfilled, it is because our emotional needs are not being met.
Stop for a moment and think about your past relationships. Do you see a correlation between your happiness and the fulfillment of your emotional needs?
Have you ever had the experience of finding yourself in the same relationship over and over again, despite how different your partners may have seemed at first glance? If you think about it, you will likely see a pattern that revolves around not getting one or more of your emotional needs met. If you look closer, these are probably the same needs that were left unfulfilled in your childhood.
Could it be that you have been going from one relationship to the next in search of getting your needs met, yet you keep picking partners who just don't know how to meet your emotional needs? There is nothing wrong with you. The simple reason that we pick partners who do not meet our emotional needs is that we get stuck in a dynamic of trying to get something that we never had, like chasing the carrot on the stick.
It is time to get your emotional needs met and experience your best possible relationship! So, what emotional needs are we talking about? Emotional needs vary from person to person, but the most common emotional needs are appreciation, understanding, being heard, acknowledgment and respect. All of these needs represent a particular manner in which we show and express love.
Mutually meeting emotional needs in any relationship fosters intimacy, trust and a feeling of great satisfaction. On the other hand, the opposite of meeting emotional needs — criticism, undermining, minimizing and disrespect — all cause separation, resentment and a lack of trust. When we understand this dynamic, we are immediately empowered to improve any relationship. Keep reading ...
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