Bring peace and happiness to your relationship.
Let me be clear about something, my goal is NOT to explain how to keep any relationship happy. This is directed primarily at women who are in a relationship with a traditional alpha male.
What is an alpha male you might ask? Well, if you're married to a man whose life purpose is to make you happy, provide for your family, and be a good citizen, in my book you have an alpha male.
It doesn't matter if he's metro-sexual, an accountant, or a lumberjack. At their core, human beings have certain commonalities.
Men share some very primal desires that anthropologists, sociologists, and psychologists have proven over and over again. But, somewhere down the line it became politically incorrect to just accept how it is.
In my experience helping couples overcome the challenges of every day life, I've come to agree with these experts, and have defined four primary things that bring peace and happiness to men.
I call them the 4 S's, they are listed here for your guidance. Write to me and let me know if you think we are all wrong.
Sorry, did that catch you by surprise? If there is anything that will drive a man away it's a woman who will not shut-up. Men truly crave their quiet time.
They might not be all that quiet, but they need their partners to be quiet. That is why a man will isolate himself to catch up on his favorite shows, sit to watch a favorite sport for 3 hours, or go off to his den to read alone.
This is the reason why "man-caves" are so in vogue these days. It is their way to get away for privacy, to have that "quiet" time, if you want to call it quiet.
Mostly it's a way to silence the world around them and let in things that will help them unwind. This is something they can't do if they have a wife who won't respect this primal need.
Yes, we women work too. What else is new? We don't have to go down the feminist road once more. We don't have to rub it in their faces that we too "bring home the bacon".
Some women make more money than their man. There is nothing wrong with that. What is important is to honor the role your man plays as a husband and father. His contribution also goes way beyond his paycheck.
If you're a lady who has a man which will chop firewood, stay up all hours on his computer getting "that report" out to his employer, or take the time to walk his child to school, take his princess to her ballet, coach little league, or grill for the family on the weekends, then your place is to remind him how truly grateful you are for everything he does.
So, he didn't say thank you to you for the laundry? Give it up sister!
Men show their gratitude differently than women. Just remind him how much he means to you. Say it to him, and say it publicly in front of family and friends, make it obvious. You won't regret it.
OK, so not everybody likes sandwiches, but to a man, a woman who takes the time to prepare a meal for him means a great deal.
This does not mean you have to spend every day slaving over a hot stove for your man. It does however satisfy the "hunter/gatherer" primal urge to see his woman do something with his "catch for the day", and it makes him feel special.
Since we live in a society where it is common for both spouses to work, I like to call it a simple "sandwich". Once or twice a week, make him an extra special sandwich (taco, or riceball if it applies).
Prepare it with love for him, and him alone. This sends a message that you care to meet one of his most basic needs, food.
Yes, maybe if you have the time to grill him up a t-bone or bake him a chocolate cake, you can do that! In any case, he will feel your love and concern for his well being with something made by you with love.
Ah! Did you think you'd get away without me mentioning sex? Nope.
Sexual intercourse is a sociological and emotional need for both men and women, however it is men who have the greater sexual drive. That is not my opinion, that is a fact.
The male sexual drive is greater than the female's. This is how they are designed for propagation of the species. Men can have multiple women pregnant at one time.
We can only be pregnant once every 9 months. Furthermore, we as women tend to equate sex with emotional attachment, or love. (Please no hate mail. I already know we too can have sex just for sexual pleasure.)
But, generally speaking, and studies show, men most often can be completely detached when it comes to sex. Their drive is too great for them to wait until "they are in the mood".
Men equate sex with four things; pleasure, relaxation, power, and love. Yes, love is last. That doesn't mean that you need to disregard his other motives. Those need tending too as well.
So, you see, having an intimate encounter with your man fulfills several needs he has as a healthy male. Neither of you should deny yourselves this most important connection. Find the time, make the time, and your marriage will surely be blessed.