Ever wonder if you can really change your partner? Well, screaming and yelling sure won't do it. In fact, he/she may become resentful. Just as with children, we need to be praised for the good things we do.
The last thing you want to hear again and again is what you're doing something wrong, what you need to fix, or how you don't measure up to the person your partner needs you to be. So, before you begin to complain about what he/she isn't doing, try complimenting him/her on the things he/she is getting right. 8 Love Songs That Will Change Your Life
Most people would argue that you can't change people. Believe it or not, your partner hates that all you seem to do is complain. Or, that you fail to appreciate him/her. I know that this profound idea seems unjustifiably simple, that a simple compliment may change things, but I've seen it work. I can't pretend to have stumbled upon this knowledge on my own though.
One day I was having lunch with a friend when she introduced me to this concept. At the time, I wasn't necessarily looking for her advice when she mentioned how happy she and her husband are together. At first I thought, here we go again. She's always talking about her husband. If she does have qualms with him they are usually minor in nature; in fact, most of them virtually go unmentioned.
One thing she said was, "Don't talk about the man you're with negatively because you chose him; he is ultimately a reflection of you. Besides, what does it say about you if you go around always complaining that he’s such a loser, or that he isn’t great in bed?" Lose The Baggage! How To Get Over Past Relationships [VIDEO]
Well, I thought that was sound advice; maybe a bit old school, but I could see her point. Then, she mentioned something that corroborated with something I recently read by Relationship Coach and Marriage Educator, Jenna Couture. In her article, "Relationship Secrets: We Just Say Yes," Couture wrote, "Make your mate a priority." Although she doesn't say "yes" as Couture asserts, she does compliment him.
Intrigued by this, I asked, "Compliment him? You mean you compliment his looks, his ..." "Him ... for the things he does,” she insisted. "At first, he rarely helped out with the kids. He was always busy. We fussed and argued all the time ..." "You two? You seem so ... so ... happy," I said.
In fact, they're always fondling each other. It's damn near sickening at times. I can only imagine what their kids must think when they see their parents canoodling. 14 Ways To Decode 'Guy Talk' On Dating Profiles
"That wasn't always the case," she admitted. "We were on the verge of divorce when we went to Couples Therapy. Our therapist had us do so many exercises together to stimulate some sort of communication between us. One exercise involved looking at each other and telling one another what we loved about the other."
I laughed. "Ok. This sounds a lot like that Adam Sandler movie, Just Go With It. You know, the part where Nicole Kidman's character is complimenting her husband every time they leave one another."