Thanksgiving doesn’t need to be just time for family gatherings. I’ve been single for many years, alternating with 3 months here, 6 months there as part of a couple.
Unless the man I meet today after my writing class grabs those chemistry vibes I hope for, I may be on my own on November 22. Hey, great! I may be at my son’s or my daughter’s for the big turkey meal. But whether I am or not, I can think of 6 things that would make that Thursday stand out. http://pleasuresandponderings.blogspot.com/2009/11/experience-of-awareness-i-had-today-11.html
1) I have men friends, including past lovers, who may also have the day free. We could eat out, even using the Entertainment Book’s 2-for-1’s, or we could try on the rare activity of ice or roller skating, or see a movie at home or in the theater with popcorn. We’d be open to each other’s suggestions at the moment, as well. Spontaneity can be a delightful part of a get-together.
2) Three or more of my single friends, men and women, might gather for a potluck. After we ate to our fill, we would share stories of growing-up holidays, or sit by the fireplace and share camping experiences. We’d tell jokes and share pranks we’d pulled on our friends. Or we’d share all we were grateful for. Or we’d play Mars and Venus board game, where either gender would read a sentence from a card, such as, “How I know I am special to my partner” and the 3 choices, such as “He tells me he loves me” or “He takes me out on a date every week” or “He listens without giving me advice.” The other gender would guess the choice the reader would pick, and then both sexes would share their answers. A fun way to know others more deeply.
3) If one or more single friends had a cabin or an inexpensive lodging they liked to visit, we’d set off Wed. night or Thurs. morning for a 1 to 2 hour ride, commenting on the still colorful leaves, the valleys, the rivers along the freeway, and what was giving us pleasure this month. We could spend the day on trails, if the weather suited us, or bring out games if all were interested in them. We might choose to play poker or bridge or pinochle at our lodging or at a café. There would be some I’d gather with who’d enjoy reading our own or others’ poetry or prose to each other. If there were a fireplace in the lobby, that would be a good place to mellow out in the evening.
4) Another option would be to enjoy the day alone. http://pleasuresandponderings.com/excerpts.htm No obligations, no expectations. You could do a gratitude journal of the year to date, maybe referring to your diary or day planner. You could bus or drive to a favorite place in Nature, and pretend you were the one who’d discovered it and shared it with the world. Or you could pretend it was the 1st time you’d come upon this creek or rocky hill or waterfall. Putting on your fresh eyes and ears, you could explore it as thought you were the pioneer who felt the inner hurrah when it had first come into view. Another solo experience might be looking at a city or state map, and picking a spot you’d always been curious about, taking your time on side roads to get there. Maybe you’d want to end this “day with myself” by finding a lovely lobby in a hotel to read a book or write a “letter to myself” to read a year later.
5) You might find on this holiday a way to show your gratitude for your full life by sharing it. You could call a local nursing home or hospital or boys and girls club or retirement home earlier in November and ask for names of people who might welcome company on the holiday. I did that one Christmas day, and felt as fulfilled as I hoped the people I visited felt.
6) If you don’t want to be alone, but don’t feel like reaching out to anyone, you could scout out ahead of time places where people were likely to gather, even on a holiday. That could be a shopping center for people watching, a coffee house, a movie theater, a bus, or a hotel or retirement home lobby where you could just blend in with anyone else sitting there. It could feel very comfortable to read or write or daydream. You could consider changing your questions to change your life. http://communicationcoaching.net/relationship_articles.htm
If you’d like to explore what’s keeping you from experiencing all you’d like to have in your life, call for a free coaching session. Moreah Vestan 206-938-8385 We’ll set a time, in person or by phone.