What To Do If Your Man Says 'No' To Sex (1 of 2)
By Ms. Kristina Marchant. Posted on .
Are you in a committed relationship with a man who refuses to have sex with you? Sexless Marriage – 5 Reasons For Your Husband’s Low Sex Drive
If so, believe me, you are NOT alone. Many women are sexually unfulfilled in their partnerships. Take comfort in knowing this and in knowing that, in most cases, his lack of desire has nothing to do with him thinking you are not beautiful or in good enough physical shape for him to want to enjoy your body through sex.
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There are a few different reasons for why some men refuse sex with their wives or girlfriends:
- They are depressed and their libido suffers as a result.
- They are experiencing low hormone levels.
- They have serious fears and insecurities surrounding sex.
- They are gay and hiding in a straight relationship. (Whether they are having sex with men or not.)
- They are getting their sexual needs met through other avenues that do not require as much or any emotional intimacy, like sex-based affairs, porn or prostitution. (These men are emotional commitment phobes.)
- They are not emotionally connected to you and don’t feel desirous of you as a result. (This could mean they are or are not currently emotionally connected with another woman and sleeping with her as a result. If he is sleeping with someone else, the following steps still apply, but your willingness to do them may be too compromised at this point.)
Reasons 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 are not in a woman’s power to fix. You certainly can and should investigate your man’s reasons for not wanting sex by engaging him in quality, safe, non-shaming communication. If he does mention that he is feeling down, has issues with being sexual, or if he comments about his interest in porn, please encourage him to seek help. I would even suggest that you consider making his need to seek professional therapeutic assistance a condition that must be met in the relationship in order for you to continue being with him. Low Sex Drive? The Natural Way To Increase Sexual Desire In Women
If reason 6 is the culprit—good news! Deepening the emotional intimacy in your relationship and making him feel more desirous of you as a result, is absolutely in your power to fix.
The following are two things you can do to improve his sexual desire for you by improving the level of emotional intimacy in your relationship:
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1. Self-Provide and Feel Your Negative Feelings.
When our man, who we lust after, love, care for, admire and respect doesn’t want to join us in the bedroom, nothing feels more shaming and rejecting. Sex is so important to a healthy marriage that the denying of it by one party in the partnership is a withholding that carries serious weight. Even the Bible [Corinthians 7:3] states that a man’s body belongs to his wife as much as it belongs to him.
