Is the man you love distancing himself from you? Does something feel “off” about his behavior in your relationship? If you feel chronically distraught about the state of things and are desperately trying to keep him interested, you may actually be pushing him further away.
If you are pushing him away, it’s not your fault. We women have been trained to treat men like prizes. When we have a good man in our grasp, we can’t help but worry that we might lose him. It's like we are in a constant state of worry, wondering if today is going to be the day that we are rejected and put back out there on the brutal dating scene.
Obsessive Thoughts About How To Keep Him Interested
Our emotions get so entangled in a man’s every move. Deep down we know that if we could just keep him interested and snag his attention, everything about our lives would be okay.
I used to feel this way. I put so much pressure on myself to behave the “right” way. I quietly agonized over what I should reply back to a man in a text message, or how long I should wait to call him. I nagged my friends with questions about when to bring up a chat with a man about something like commitment or whether it was okay if I planned a date.
I worried about this when I was married too: “Why is he in a bad mood, is it something I did?”; “Should I wake him up to talk about my feelings or should I let him sleep?”; “What can I do to grab his attention and keep him interested so that I can avoid losing him to another woman?”
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When Your Self-Esteem Suffers
Constantly worrying about a man’s lack of interest in the relationship can make you crazy. You soon start to question everything you do and you feel like nothing you do for him is going to ultimately keep his interest.
It’s draining and exhausting to work so hard at love. It also makes you feel jealous and irritated. You start comparing yourself to other women and beating yourself up over each and every flaw. You feel like you could somehow keep his interest if you were more perfect in a hundred different ways: better looking, better in bed, funnier, more smiley, more confident on dates… and the list goes on.
Soon it feels like dating a guy is like being a contestant on a beauty pageant, or worse, on The Bachelor.
But What If…
What if you never had to worry about how to keep him interested? What if men were more interested in dating and pursuing you than you currently are interested in keeping him?
It all starts with you. I know it feels like it’s all about him and managing his feelings. But it’s actually your level of self-worth that dictates everything in your love life.
The truth is that you are a goddess. And, you can have a love life worthy of a goddess.
Raising Your Self-Esteem
When you are entirely focused on a man he can feel it. He can sense that there is tremendous pressure on him to make you happy. It’s a sixth sense telling him that your emotions are totally dependent on his.
This feels ‘heavy’ for him. And it makes you unattractive because he translates it to mean that your self-worth is wrapped up entirely in him.
Soon he goes from being emotionally heavy about something outside the relationship to emotionally heavy because of the relationship. It’s like you’ve done it to yourself: your preoccupation with trying to keep his interest has pushed him further away.
The key is to flip things around. The key is to stop seeing him as the prize and start finding a way to feel like a prize worthy of any man.
Ahhh, To Feel Like A Goddess
Next time you around your man, instead of fixating on the lonely, rejected, scared feelings and on all your strategies to keep him interested, put the focus back on you.
Imagine your heart pouring over with love, love that is beyond beautiful. Imagine that your love is sparkly and shiny pink, like pink glitter and that your heart can POP like a piñata and pink glitter can just burst into the air.
Imagine all that pink, glittery love twinkling as it flutters to the floor-- lighting up the world with rose-colored, festive, soulful goddess love!
You are a goddess and you are brim-full of love to give; in fact, that your problem right now: you have so much love to give and only this one half-interested man to give it to.
Your Light is dim right now. You are too wrapped up in the rewards of loving him when you can be loving yourself and all the universe around you! A goddess shares her ‘pink glitter’ with the world and she shares it with herself.
You are letting this man wrap you into a pretzel, when the truth is that the love you need is the love you already have inside you. You just need to honor your inner goddess and send yourself loving vibes in moments when you are concerned with trying to keep his interest.
Believe That He Loves You
Next time you are with him and you start feeling a separation from him and your mind jumps to plot ways to keep his interest, stay grounded and focus on covering yourself with pink glitter. Stay with the visual until you feel more ‘filled up’ with love-- drunk on your own intoxicating energy.
While you do this, believe, too, that your man is hypnotized by your pink glitter. Imagine that it makes him feel as wonderful inside and it does you. Even if he appears to be moody or preoccupied with something other than you, feel that in his heart, he is enchanted.
This will change your vibe. This will make you stop worrying about him and focusing on his feelings and it will put you at ease: you will have faith.
To him you will feel calm and inviting and he will want to come closer.
If you want to learn more about how to stay grounded no matter what he is doing, check out my eBook Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. It’s pages are chock-full of goddess advice that will buff and polish your self-confidence and help you intoxicate men with your loving heart and your luminous, luscious and lovable Light.