Are You Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
By Ms. Kristina Marchant. Posted on .
Ever since I read John Gray's Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, I've been insecure about the fact that men need space in relationships. It doesn't help that most men I've dated have either asked for space, took space without warning or turned space into "Goodbye."
Because I thought men did that rubber band thingy where they pulled back a lot, I would often tiptoe around a man who seemed like he was "on break," afraid to express my need for connection and emotional security while stifling my anger about what seemed like selfish behavior on his part. After all, "man space" can be frightening and lonely.
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Do find yourself up against the magnetic pull of man space? Does the man you love need a lot of alone time? Or, if you're single, do you find that most of the men you date take more personal space than you'd like? If you feel like a man's need for space is making you needy and insecure, it could be that you're just dating the wrong men. That was my problem all along. I loved emotionally unavailable men.
A recent marriage survey turned man space on its head. When 1,040 married couples were surveyed in 2012, results revealed that husbands are keener on spending time with their spouses than are wives. And, husbands miss their spouses more when separated than do wives.
This is very interesting information because it puts a proverbial dagger in the idea of man space. The survey's results beg the question: If single/dating men and women were polled on their need for space in newer relationships, would men still desire more together time than women?
I would guess that single/dating men would not desire as much together-time in their dating relationships as their female counterparts. However, I think these results would be less correlated to the stage of their relationships than with the type of men who get married.
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According to Jenni Trent Hughes of eHarmony, men are more likely to marry for companionship and women for a stronger sense of self, offered through a partner's love and support. If we go on this theory, then it would make sense that the majority of men who marry are emotionally available for connection and deeply desire it. Keep reading ...
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