I believe that emotional intimacy is the MAIN component of a love relationship that keeps a man invested long-term. Most older women can’t compete with 25-year-olds and 30-somethings sauntering through their husbands’ work spaces in miniskirts and push-up bras, but the wise older wives have something much more significant than toned bodies and flawless skin: they have years’ worth of happy marital memories, which have enhanced their ability to hold their husbands’ hearts in their hands and keep their men coming home every night emotionally fulfilled!
Here are four ways to create a deep bond between you and your man and KEEP him from ever wandering, temporarily or permanently.
First Way to Bring Him Closer: Open Him Up
Your man has to feel COMFORTABLE CONFIDING in you (revealing confessions, secrets, fears, etc.).
In a world where most men feel they have to act tough just to make it through the day at work or survive a night of beer and football with the guys, they really need a place where they can be vulnerable.
As a woman, you should be the one who creates that vulnerability-inviting space for him. You should create a place for him to take off his “man mask” and just be himself and SHARE himself.
We all know that men are not like most women in the way we talk at length about our problems and speak directly about our feelings, but they do need an outlet for their built-up stress and negative feelings. A woman who can create that outlet is essential to her man’s happiness and emotional health.
So, how do you become a safe place for your man?
You make him YOUR safe place first. This includes two steps:
• You risk vulnerability with him and share with him your feelings, secrets, fears, etc. Basically, you reveal your underbelly to him.
• You allow him to comfort you in these moments like he is your hero.
Now, sharing your raw truths with him doesn’t mean you become a complainer and a whiner. It means you share your negative feelings, thoughts, and experiences with him in order to bring you both closer together.
Examples of what I mean:
A COMPLAINER comes home, drops her purse on the counter, and storms around the kitchen bitching about a coworker while her husband happens to be reading a book quietly at the kitchen table.
A REVEALER comes home, kisses her husband on the cheek, sits down next to him, and while touching him lovingly, says, “I know you’re reading that book you just bought, but I need my loving husband’s ear for a minute. What do you think about that?”
A WHINER takes an intimate moment with her boyfriend (say, pillow talk) and uses it to go on and on about her feelings around a subject, dumping all her anxiety onto her man and making him feel more like a sounding board than a person. This whiner could still be sweet, loving, and gentle with her words, but if she talks AT him instead of WITH him, she is treating him like a dumpster.