3 Steps to Getting Over a Breakup


3 Steps to Getting Over a Breakup
In the throes of a heartbreak it feels like we will never be able to move on.

Very recently, a 16 year old male client of mine came into my office, sad about his relationship, which had fallen apart over the summer, about 2 months prior. I had seen my client going through the emotions. From sadness to anger, to elation and confidence because he thought he’d met someone new and then back to sadness, hopelessness, and feeling like he would never fall in love again. Can you imagine a 16 –year-old boy telling me he would never fall in love again? He surmised it would be better off going back to his old ways of “playing” girls, having several girlfriends at a time, stringing them on, you know the type of 15-year old lothario he once was. I wanted so bad to tell him that he’s too young to know what love is, or that he would soon change his mind, but don’t bother trying to reason with a 16 year-old, today is everything to them. And, the truth of the matter is love is love whether it’s a crush or puppy love, it all effects us the same.

I then realized that I have had this client in my office several times. Different ages, genders and races. It doesn’t matter if you’re age is16 or 60, if you are male or female, gay or straight, heartbreak feels the same to everyone. I have been there too. There are quite prominent moments where it truly feels like we could never, and we would never find love nor want to find love again. Why would we? It hurts too much. Why would we ever want to put ourselves through that again, for one, and second, we will never find someone like he/she anyway, so what would be the point?

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But almost just as predictably as night turns into day, our feelings do also change and alas the day comes when we see the light at the end of the tunnel, daylight for the first time, and we do get over that break up, we do get over our feelings of sadness, anger and remorse towards our old love, and many of us do quite actually move on. But, try telling this to someone in the throes of a heartbreak, though, it’s quite difficult to hear. 

So, since reasoning doesn’t work, as it didn't with me either, I came up with a few things, some real die hard remedies for those in the throes of a breakup, that I found worked wonders. If you are finding that you are feeling anxious, scared, sad or insecure then these steps are for you:

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Article contributed by
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Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality.

Visit her website at

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Get Mou's eBook at Marriage, Money and Porn: A Quick and Easy Guide to Navigating Your 21st Century Relationship

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: West Hollywood, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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