3 Steps to Getting Over a Breakup


3 Steps to Getting Over a Breakup
In the throes of a heartbreak it feels like we will never be able to move on.

Very recently, a 16 year old male client of mine came into my office, sad about his relationship, which had fallen apart over the summer, about 2 months prior. I had seen my client going through the emotions. From sadness to anger, to elation and confidence because he thought he’d met someone new and then back to sadness, hopelessness, and feeling like he would never fall in love again. Can you imagine a 16 –year-old boy telling me he would never fall in love again? He surmised it would be better off going back to his old ways of “playing” girls, having several girlfriends at a time, stringing them on, you know the type of 15-year old lothario he once was. I wanted so bad to tell him that he’s too young to know what love is, or that he would soon change his mind, but don’t bother trying to reason with a 16 year-old, today is everything to them. And, the truth of the matter is love is love whether it’s a crush or puppy love, it all effects us the same.

I then realized that I have had this client in my office several times. Different ages, genders and races. It doesn’t matter if you’re age is16 or 60, if you are male or female, gay or straight, heartbreak feels the same to everyone. I have been there too. There are quite prominent moments where it truly feels like we could never, and we would never find love nor want to find love again. Why would we? It hurts too much. Why would we ever want to put ourselves through that again, for one, and second, we will never find someone like he/she anyway, so what would be the point?


But almost just as predictably as night turns into day, our feelings do also change and alas the day comes when we see the light at the end of the tunnel, daylight for the first time, and we do get over that break up, we do get over our feelings of sadness, anger and remorse towards our old love, and many of us do quite actually move on. But, try telling this to someone in the throes of a heartbreak, though, it’s quite difficult to hear. 

So, since reasoning doesn’t work, as it didn't with me either, I came up with a few things, some real die hard remedies for those in the throes of a breakup, that I found worked wonders. If you are finding that you are feeling anxious, scared, sad or insecure then these steps are for you:

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

Mou is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Mou is the band leader, composer and voice of the rock band Ghosha.

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 


Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

How To Kiss Your Way To Hotter Foreplay (So Pucker Up!) [VIDEO]


Kissing is more than a fun part of foreplay—it's connecting with one another physically, showing affection and setting the mood for a night of intimacy and romance. In fact, studies have shown that not only do couples who kiss tend to be more physically and emotionally connected, they also naturally have more sex. You're in luck because we have ... Read more

5 Ways To (Finally) Stop Falling For The Bad Boy


We've all heard the reasons why you are chasing the emotionally unavailable bad boys; "you want to save them" or "you think you can fix them." Your therapist tells you that you're trying to resolve something from your childhood like an absent or negligent parent, which your friends translate to, "oh, you have daddy (or ... Read more

Being Single Isn't The End Of The World—10 Reasons Why It Rocks!


I have regular reflections in the art of relationships. I surmise over the jealousy, the fights and the troubled sex that often ensues over time. I sometimes wish that being single were a more revered way of life. I think if singlehood was more acceptable then we, as a collective society, would be much happier and at peace with being by ourselves. We would be ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular