If you want to feel comfortable, buy a recliner. There are lots of funky designs out there and I'm sure you'll find one that fits you perfectly. Then, as you enjoy the view of your ceiling from the comfort of your new furniture, take note of how many clients call you, how your ideal business or practice grows, or how exciting your relationships and love life become! (Hint: it's probably not going to be a very thrilling time).
Sometimes life is about not being comfortable. Sometimes, it's about stepping outside your comfort zone to explore uncomfortable places while you work to attract ideal clients, a life partner or more money. The good news? Going beyond the status quo is really quite easy. All you have to do is embrace your journey. By that, I mean laying bare your limitations, pushing past them and discovering the excitement of traveling to new places. Surprise yourself with unexpected twists and turns. Surrendering to a life of adventure means empowering yourself while adding passion and excitement to your business and love life. After all, for a fullfilling life you need both romance and career satisfaction!
Balance Career And Love
Some people choose to consciously sacrifice a part of themselves. They believe that what they're sacrificing doesn't matter — or that their sacrifice is for a higher good. They think they can sacrifice their career and still be ambitious, or forget about love and still have a full life.
Are they right or wrong? Truth is, there is no right or wrong; only what works for you. And it is from that place — the path that works for you — that the drive to try something new and different comes. It is from your center that you will find the strength while pushing your boundaries and discover if more choices give you more freedom.
Going Beyond The Status Quo When Considering Changes
Most people need to be kick-started to get up out of the recliner and face new challenges. If you are able to make money with ease, yet feel inadequate in intimate connections, then it's time to push yourself to get to know people and form relationships with heart! On the flip side, if you're good at relating, yet have money concerns, try focusing on avenues toward financial freedom.
We live in a society that says, "don't rock the boat" and "be safe," and we forget that the best excitement in our business and love life often happens when we're trying something outside our personal boundaries of safety. Do you remember the anticipation of doing something you first resisted? Do you remember the fear and excitement all happening at once? When was the last time you took a risk?
Don't get me wrong! I'm not asking you to jump off a bridge or play Russian Roulette. I'm asking you to take a well thought-out risk at work or in a relationship. Ask yourself, "When was the last time I did something I hated just because my partner liked it? How's that for pushing the edges?
Now consider how it might feel to surrender to something you really enjoy, or something you didn't even know you enjoyed because you'd never given yourself a chance to try it. The idea here — of finding what you are good at or where you feel most comfortable — is to throw yourself a challenge that leaves you breathless and extremely alive!
Texting (Even Flirtexing) And Vulnerability Don't Go Hand In Hand
Michael, a confident client in his career and business life, was searching for an intimate partner. I noticed his pattern of treating his personal relationships like business transactions. He would use email and texting to communicate with potential romantic partners instead of talking to them face to face or over the phone. When a potential date told him she would rather hear from him by phone, he had a perfect opportunity to stretch himself to a place where he felt uncomfortable. Together, we explored how vulnerability with women was not a place of comfort for him and how email and texting protected him from his vulnerability. Once he realized this, he found his edge and the personal boundaries he needed to stretch.
"Why" questions take us straight to our ego, whereas "how" and "what" questions take us to new places of discovery about ourselves. Michael shifted from asking, "Why would a woman want a phone call from me?" to asking, "How does it feel to be asked for more intimacy?" This "how" question brought him to a deeper understanding of himself. And once he pushed his edge, he discovered that he was better at establishing intimate contacts than he thought he was. In turn, the woman who had asked him to phone her felt valued because he had heard her and acted. His willingness to take a step toward something new awakened his potential for more intimate relationships; relationships he could view with fresh eyes and a willingness to please.
This process is not about changing the world. It's about being willing to take steps toward embracing ourselves for who we are, for who we are not and for who we may yet become.
What Do Cats Have To Do With Creating Change In Our Business And Love Lives?
So, just how do you go about pushing your edges? As I tell my clients, "Do something you hate. Try something you're not good at. Rock your own boat. Here's an uncomfortable way to stretch your personal boundaries!"
Get a cat, especially if you don't like cats! Living with a cat is a surefire way to discover what it means to be open, to give and to receive unconditionally. Pets mirror back to you lessons about yourself. You'll learn a lot about yourself from a cat because you're trying something new.
Gifts abound in life, especially where you least expect them. These are the hidden treasures you are looking for when you consciously put yourself in an uncomfortable place. Life is a gift we often forget to embrace in all its complexity. When we box ourselves into thinking easy means exciting, we tend to play it safe or overplan. I'm not suggesting you try something wildly dangerous. I am suggesting you nudge yourself into trying something new and different so you can learn more about who you are.
Whenever I suggest getting a cat, the standard response is "I don't like cats. They're independent and unaffectionate. They only come when they're hungry." To that I ask, "When was the last time you saw your mother?" The cat hater's reply usually goes something like this: "Three months ago... for dinner."
So look at this as the first lesson a cat teaches then encourage yourself — even push yourself — to experience parts of yourself and your life that you're not fully comfortable with. The wonderful changes you notice will be worth it!
Monica Magnetti, Tango Expert – As a Life Coach, Business Coach and Internet Brand Consultant, I'm offering you three free downloads. You'll get immediate results and lots of tools to achieve more success in your business and love life. Enjoy them all! These free products have been created just for you!
Disclosure from Monica Magnetti: I love cats. For me, pushing boundaries has meant getting two dogs. All joking aside, if you adopt an animal, be responsible as you push beyond the status quo and stretch your personal boundaries. Make sure you are ready to embrace the commitment to another being—and please support your local animal shelter.
More love advice from YourTango: