Too often, I see female friends devastated by their dating experiences. Despite their best efforts, men never treat them the way they deserve to be treated. And, as their friend, it is heartbreaking to watch them make the same mistakes over and over again.
I recently realized that their lack of success in dating has very little to do with the men they date. Rather, it has to do with how my friends approach dating. They become too emotionally entrenched in the experience too quickly and fail to see how they create problematic dating dynamics.
You see, I used to make these same mistakes. That is, until I recognized my part in the process and began dating and eventually married a man who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. So, based on my own experiences, as well as what I've seen from my friends, I've come up with the following rules that every woman should follow:
1. Get off the pity train. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Let go of the self-defeating thoughts holding you back. How fun is it to hang out with someone who only puts themselves down? If men aren't interested in you, it probably isn't because you aren't a supermodel, it is probably because they can see how you feel about yourself.
Think about how people are drawn to someone with confidence. A person with confidence seems to love life. They don't complain about themselves. It is a much more pleasant experience! If you don't feel confident, fake it until you do. You will probably see a difference in how people interact with you.
2. Never cry about a boy. I mean it. Never cry about a boy! They aren't worth it. Sure, there are some jerks out there. Don't give them your power by allowing yourself to feel bad.
My advice? Get mad. Start standing up for yourself. Don't allow yourself to be treated badly. I believe that we train people how to treat us. If you can work on your assertiveness and confidence, you will find a relationship with someone who respects you. Until then, it will just be the same guy with a different name.
3. Keep an air of mystery. This is a big one. We all have baggage. Over the course of a relationship, your significant other will learn more about you. Until that point, don't over share. Keep reading ...
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