Confidence is amazing. It can literally be the sexiest thing about a person. Have you ever met someone who feels comfortable in their own skin? You want to be around them. Because they feel good, you feel good. When you have the tools to feel confident, life is just easier. Things don’t get you down. You take setbacks in stride and you navigate the world more effectively. When you don’t feel good about yourself, thinking about how to gain confidence seems so unattainable especially when it comes to body image or dating. Use the following steps to start feeling great:
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- Talk back to the negative self-talk. Diffuse the thoughts inside your head that make you feel insecure and inferior. For every negative thought you have about yourself, come up with at least two positive things you can say.
- Focus on your strengths. Identify positive attributes about yourself and put your time and attention on those features rather than things you don’t like about yourself. Identify things you are good at. Think about your achievements.
- Recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Let go of your missteps rather than beating yourself up. Be gentle with yourself. Try talking to yourself about mistakes like you would with a friend or loved one. We are far less forgiving of ourselves than we would be with anyone else. Get over yourself and don’t take things so seriously. Try to laugh at yourself.
- Develop an attitude of gratitude. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have, think about the many gifts you possess. Instead of berating yourself for how your legs look, be thankful that you have legs that can get you where you need to go.
- Don’t disqualify the positive. Don’t shut people down when they give you compliments. Recognize that no one gives to positive feedback because they have to. Listen to the nice things people say to you rather than discounting them. Eventually, you might start to believe it!
- Get outside yourself. Helping others can boost confidence. Stepping away from your insecurities to help someone else goes a long way in helping you to feel good about yourself.
- Ditch the Negative Nancy in your life. Surround yourself with people who build you up rather than tearing you down. When the people closest to us are constantly making us feel bad, our confidence suffers. Build your support system with people who help you feel good. Distance yourself from people who bring you down. Stand up for yourself and don’t allow people to treat you poorly.
- Set realistic goals. When it comes to confidence, nothing can boost you up like accomplishing a goal. Make sure your goals are realistic and attainable. Start with a specific and measurable goal that will bring you a sense of acccomplishment and success. Each small step builds on the next and before you know it, you will achieve your goal.
Like everything else in life, this process will take time and practice. The more you put in, the more you will get out. When you feel like you can do something, you are much more likely to be successful. Just remember it is about progress, not perfection. Each time you take an opportunity to use these skills, you will get closer to achieving the sense of self you long to have.