Nothing Is More Beautiful Than A Woman Who Is Unapologetically Herself

Stop saying you're sorry for being you.

By Michele Brookhaus — Written on Dec 12, 2019

Photo: getty

How To Be Yourself And Improve Your Self-Esteem By Never Apologizing For Who You Are

I was born in Canada, and there is a joke about Canadians that goes: "What does a Canadian say when you step on their toes?" Answer: "I’m sorry."

Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not just Canadians that apologize for everything — it's women everywhere. And I’m here to say that we have to cut that out.

Since I am both a woman and a Canadian, the lesson of how to be yourself has taken me awhile to learn. Your first steps out into the world as a young adult were tentative and you often second-guessed yourself. You felt invisible walking through life and would startle if anyone actually noticed you.

At other times, you were impulsive and rebellious, stepping on toes and making a mess of things. Awkwardly. Which, in your self-consciousness, brought up shame and inadequacy. None of which is sexy.

Brené Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You are Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, writes eloquently about this shame that you must shake off. Her antidote? Wholeheartedness.

Wholeheartedness means that you are "Worthy now, not if, not when, we are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is."

This is beauty; unapologetically believing in your worthiness and subsequently figuring out ways to love yourself. Not despite, but because of all of your quirks.

Snorting just a little too loud when you laugh. Revel in the beauty of that joy.
Daring to go up to that cute guy and asking him for his phone number... despite everything you've read or heard from "dating coaches."
Admitting that sometimes you hate your kids. Knowing full well that no one will believe you, but maybe really hearing how hard it is being a parent.
Dancing just because you like to dance. Who cares if you ever get good at it.

Being unapologetically yourself takes courage. Brown says that "Courage originally meant to speak one's mind by telling one's heart." And isn't that where beauty truly lies? In your heart.

It's time to step into that greatness. Because you're great and amazing and wise and beautiful already — truly, you are. See it, recognize it, and embrace it.

Mandy Hale, author of The Single Woman: Life, Love and a Dash of Sass, says, "Maybe it’s not Maybelline. Maybe you were just born with it." It’s a great consideration.

I am walking in the fifth decade of my life now. And I think I’ve moved into some grace as I've unapologetically been myself for a while now. Sometimes I hear from friends, family and colleagues, "You are beautiful," or other compliments. And I smile, breathe it in, and say, "Thank you!"