Think Your Relationship Is Doomed? 5 Ways To Save It


Relationship Problems: How To Save Your Relationship
Where there are two wills, there's a way.

Saving a relationship is often easier than people realize. But, all too often, people believe their relationship is too far gone to revive. They sit on the sidelines and watch it fade into the sky, turning their sunset into the dark of night.

However, even those relationships that are mired in heartache, deceit and hurtfulness can still be saved as long as you and your partner agree that your union is one worthy of redemption. Where there are two wills, there's a way.

If you don't agree on this, saving your relationship becomes futile. Like putting on a condom after you've had sex — there's just little point to it.

But, if you and your partner are willing to try, here are five things to make saving a relationship be a bit easier. It won't be a walk in the park, but it won't be a walk into the gates of Hell either.

Saving a Relationship: The To-Do List

  1. The first item on your to-do list is to speak candidly with one another and realize what the problem is. It's best to have this conversation in private — no children around to emotionally scar or any interfering mother-in-laws. You should also have this conversation when you both are calm; In other words, don't have it after a knock-down, drag-out fight, and don't have it over a bottle of wine. Alcohol can make your problems seem worse than they actually are.
  2. The second item on your to-do list is to write down in what way you and your partner need to change. Be sure that this list is balanced, and refrain from putting ten items under the "Hers" column and only two under the "His." Also make sure that you list things that are truly conducive to saving a relationship. Agreeing to better support your husband is one thing, but agreeing to watch Sports Center six nights a week is another.
  3. Once you know what areas you need to change, you reach item number 3. But, this isn't so much about doing something new; Instead, it's about stopping what you've been doing. If you've been ignoring your wife because you're tired after work, stop doing that. If you've been nagging your husband the instant he walks in the door, stop doing that. If you've been sleeping with your office-mate while your wife is out of town, stop doing them.
  4. The fourth item on your to-do list involves checking in with one another. After you've figured out the areas you need to change and have put forth the effort to cease your destructive behavior, agree to check in with each other every so often (perhaps once a month or once every six weeks). Checking in with each other allows you to assess your relationship, and what each of you have done to improve it. Checking in periodically also allows you to address new issues and jump on potential struggles before they take root. Like your initial meeting, make sure this assessment is done in private.
  5. The final item in Operation: Saving a Relationship is sex. In short, start having it. Of course, it's always possible that you have never stopped having it. Possible, but not likely. Sex is usually the first thing to go when a relationship begins sinking. However, getting back into sex helps you to get back into each other. Yes, literally and metaphorically. This might not be natural at first, and intimacy may be something you have to 1) schedule and 2) force. But, after some time, you will find that sex is the purest and most actual way for you and your spouse to connect. This may lead you to realize just how much you've been missing out.

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Michael Griswold

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Michael Griswold

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