In the movies, getting a girlfriend back from another guy is fairly easy. It simply involves showing up at the church right before she is about to say "I do" to the guy who isn't you, pouring out your heart, and whisking her away—probably by horseback (just for effect). But, alas, in real life, waiting till your ex is walking down the aisle is much more likely to fail—and result in you being shown the door by security.
For this reason, getting your girl back from that jerk or asshole (or any other adjective you'd like to insert) should probably be accomplished before she goes dress shopping.
Here's How To Get Her Back
- Concentrate on yourself first. People, unless they want to, don't change. This means that you, no matter how much you try, aren't going to change your ex-girlfriend; you aren't going to mold her into the girl you want her to be (unless, of course, you made her with your computer ala Weird Science). You can, however, change yourself. So, work on this: Whatever went wrong the first time around, work on how you can improve. Throw in a few trips to the gym, a new haircut, and some snazzy new clothes and, who knows, your girlfriend might just come crawling back.
- Think positive. Believe it or not, positive thinking can actually make a huge difference in a situation's outcome (Tim Tebow certainly didn't win an NFL playoff game on his talent). When you think positive, it is reflected in the way you act: You smile more, you take care of yourself, you put a lot of effort into things. Thinking positive about your situation is a solid way to place yourself in a position for success—whether you think you'll get your ex back or you think you wont, either way, you're likely to be right.
- Set her free. The old saying "If you love somebody, set them free, if they come back it's meant to be" may sound like a big, corny pile of crap (as in it's trite, not doo-doo with literal kernels of corn), but it tends to have some truth. This is particularly true when it comes to the "set them free" segment: In order to get your ex back, you have to let her go. If you refuse to let her go and you show up at her work or hire a sleazy private investigator to find dirt on any guy she is dating, you will only come off as immature, desperate, and a little bit pathetic. So, disappear from your ex's life for a while. Make her wonder what you are doing (and who you are doing) instead of the other way around.
- Give time for the rebound to fail. Rebound relationships are like The Real Housewives of Orange County: They don't work. In fact, some statistics state rebound relationships have as high as a 90 percent failure rate. So, try waiting it out. Give your girlfriend time to realize that her present flame is a douche bag without you having to tell her. You doing the trash talking will simply come off as being petty, and highly unattractive. It also might just drive her further into the other guy's arms, you know, just to spite you.
- Be there when she needs you. When the spark between her and her present flame dies down to something that would even make Smokey the Bear roll his eyes, be sure you are there to pick her up. But, be sure you take it slow. Offering a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen will probably be much better received than offering her something from your pants.
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