No, this isn’t a diatribe about the ratio of men to women and how some women could inevitably be without an eligible guy because of the numbers game. We all know the statistics and how there is supposedly one man for every seven (or ten) women on the planet. Yet women get married every day of the week. Why not you?
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This is about how women take themselves out of the game without even knowing it. You are attractive and funny – so why is SHE getting married and not you? What does she have (or know) that you don’t?
The first reason is that you could be in a fantasy relationship. I used this example in my book, How Divas Date. Divas don’t do fantasy relationships! If the man is not pursuing you, he doesn’t want you!
Here is what a fantasy relationship is – you have a crush on, are dating, or in a relationship with a man that is not going to marry you! Now if you are dating or in a relationship with a man that is not going to marry you and you know it, GET OUT! We’ll talk about that at the later date, but let’s talk about the crushes.
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You are waiting around for your gorgeous boss (coworker, neighbor, girlfriend’s brother, insert whoever he is) to ask you out. You think he is attracted to you. You think he is on the verge of asking you out for a real date, not just the flirtatious lunch date you have once a month. You have been waiting for two years for something to happen because you are secretly in love with him. He stares at you when he thinks you are not looking. He gave you an extra bonus last Christmas. You think he might be the Secret Santa that left the teddy bear for you. SO WHAT!!!
Honey, if it has been two years and he hasn’t asked you out on a real date, forget it! Move on! Stop waiting around for a man that has not consistently expressed interested in really DATING you. Don’t waste your time. And please, please, please don’t pass up a date with a real guy because you think you need to be free for this crush guy! Waste of precious time.
Another reason – you are looking for a fantasy man! You want him to look like Shemar Moore (yes that is my favorite celebrity to mention), have a Ph.D., make a zillion dollars, have perfect teeth, like the same reality shows you like, send you roses every weekend, and be as spiritual as TD Jakes! Come on!
And even if he has perfect teeth, sends you roses every weekend, is as spiritual as TD Jakes, but also LOOKS LIKE TD Jakes, you don’t want him. You don’t think he is handsome enough.
Half of you would not have even looked twice at TD if he was asking you out at bible study on Wednesday night, even though you want a man just like him. He doesn’t look like your fantasy guy. But you want your fantasy man to have his religious acumen, yet look like David Beckham.