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Five Reasons Why He Won’t Commit

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Five Reasons Why He Won’t Commit
Even though he acts like he’s your man, here are some reasons why he won't make you his woman.

We’ve all wondered why a certain guy will not make a commitment to the woman he is dating and has been with for years on a regular basis.  He may have even introduced her to his family or taken her home for Thanksgiving dinners.  His family might know and like her.  Everyone may be wondering why they aren’t officially a couple.  SHE may even be wondering why!  Yet he continues to say “We’re just friends” or “she’s not my girlfriend” when asked for clarification on their relationship. 

Well, in this case, ladies, you should believe his words over his actions.  Usually his actions will speak louder than his words, but if he is saying you are not his girlfriend, then believe him! 

More from YourTango: Why I decided to Jump the Broom

Whether he is taking you out every weekend, planning trips together, buying you expensive gifts AND spending the weekends at your place (or you at his), if he has yet to say he is committed to you, believe he is NOT.  He may feel like your man, but he isn’t.  You may have the wedding dress picked out already, but you will never wear it!

So if he is doing all these wonderful things with you and treats you like his woman, why won’t he commit to you?

Men usually give a reason like timing, not ready, or just got out of a bad relationship. They say they aren’t ready to commit.  I’m not discounting that it could be a timing issue but most of the time that is bogus.  There is nothing stopping him from becoming your boyfriend or your fiancé except that he refuses to be it.

What is really going on in his head?

Here are five reasons he may not be giving you the exclusivity you want (despite acting like he is already your man):

1 – He doesn’t really want a girlfriend.  Sometimes men don’t want to come out and say that they just want to play the field and see as many women as they want because it will make them look like a dog or player.   He likes spending time with you, but he doesn’t want just one woman; he wants you, he wants Sally, and Jessica, and Jenny, too.  He wants his options open, even if there is no Sally, Jessica and Jenny yet.  If he has SAID that he wants to keep his options open and date other people, he means it.  You should do the same!  You are not in a relationship with him.  See other guys.

More from YourTango: Why We Investigate His Ex-girlfriends.


2 – He doesn’t’ want YOU as a girlfriend.  He wants to get married, but not to you.  He may like you, like having sex with you, like spending time with you, but he doesn’t see you as long term potential.  He wants a committed relationship with someone, just not you. He will probably continue to see you until he meets that other woman that he wants to commit to.  He already knows that you are NOT the one.


3 – He is deciding on WHOM to make his girlfriend.  He may have you and someone else as contenders but he hasn’t decided which one of you makes the grade.  In this case he really does like you and sees you as marriage material, but he also feels strongly about the other woman/women.  He will eventually commit to one of you once he decides which is a better fit.

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