Homosexuality And Catholicism: Being Gay Isn't The Problem


Homosexuality And Catholicism: Being Gay Isn't The Problem
Things are changing in the Catholic Church, but are they changing quickly enough?

Ah, the Pope has spoken: "If a person is gay, seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?" Pope Francis said this weekend on his plane while in Rio de Janeiro. "They should not be marginalized."

He's not saying gay is good; he's saying it can be forgiven if not acted upon. As a priest and father of the Church, it is not his duty to judge but to forgive acts of homosexuality so that we in the gay community should not be marginalized. Boy, I feel so much better... how about you?

This is, from a Catholic point of view, an important statement to come from the Pope.  It’s a 90-degree turn from Pope Benedict's stance that homosexuality is a "disorder."  It looks to many like there's a new, gentler and softer Pope in town.

Well, as a lesbian who was raised Catholic, it seems to me like the same old, same old. And it seems silly to make such a big deal about homosexuality in Catholicism because gays are not the Church's big problem: pedophiles are. The ease with which homosexuals get blamed for child molestation is reminiscent of hated minority groups being stereotyped throughout history as aggressors of the most vulnerable. Jews in the Middle Ages were accused of killing Christian babies, and black men in the United States were accused of raping white women then lynched without a trial.

A few years ago, I was working as the as the Texas Executive Director of a national nonprofit focused on child safety and ending sexual exploitation of children. One of my duties was hiring staff. On one occasion, I was interviewing a young man for a new position, and had a Board Member also participating in the process.

After he left, the Board Member said to me, "I have to ask — not that there’s anything wrong with this — but is he gay?" Now to be clear, I was very much in the closet at that time, and felt I had to be to keep my job. I looked at the Board Member and said, "Yes, obviously he is gay and he's given evidence of that in his community activities noted in his resume. Is that a problem?"

She responded by saying, "Well we can’t hire him. We can't let a homosexual near children; that's not legal."

I almost fell out of my chair. I knew for sure I wasn't coming out of the closet there, and also that it was time to look for a new job. I explained to her that homosexual and pedophile are two very different sexual orientations. 

Pedophilia typically refers to an adult psychological disorder characterized by a preference for prepubescent children as sexual partners. Does the Catholic Church have a pedophilia problem? Yes, it does. Does it have a gay priest problem? There may be gay priests, but I wouldn't call them the problem. Gay men prefer gay men for sex. And heterosexual men prefer adult women for sex.

Pedophiles prefer children and adolescents, and typically do not have sexual contact with other adults. These are clear markers of the difference between the two, but the tendency for people to mistrust what they don’t know shows up in finger pointing at gays as being the real problem in the Church.

Apart from my time working for the National Center, I grew up in a Catholic family where child abuse was taking place. I had three uncles who all abused children; two of them were priests. One had his name published in the local paper a few years back during a season of "outing pedophile priests" that was going on in the state. This uncle molested both boys and girls and in his final years, hid out and wouldn't speak to anyone in the family. Keep reading...

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Mary Malia

Dating Coach

With Gratitude, 

Mary G. Malia

Certified Singles Coach, RCI

Certified Strategic Intervention Coach, Robbins- Madanes Coaching


Location: Portland, ME
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
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