At a certain point, too much baggage becomes a dating dealbreaker.
Baggage. We all have it, but is it an asset or a liability when it comes to love?
My clients often tell me they are seeking someone with little or no baggage. Yes, it can make for a simpler life if there are no ex wives to negotiate with, no child support to pay, no illnesses or emotional issues to deal with, but if you are a certain age, hopefully you have lived your life and experienced as much as possible.
Sometimes baggage can make a person very interesting. If handled well, it can even make us stronger. Don't be so quick to write someone off because of a bit of extra luggage. On the other hand, everyone has dealbreakers. Below is a list of some things you might want to avoid in a partner:
1. A partner who "jumps the gun" on a relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend proclaims his/her undying love for you on the first date, chances are he/she isn't right for you. It's not flattering — it's creepy. If this person thinks he "knows" you after just a few hours or even just a few dates, then he's not interested in the real you. He's just interested in having somebody. This person might turn out to be a stalker or worse. You're better off alone than with someone who wants to be intimate too soon.
2. A partner who's only looking for someone who looks like a model. I know we all have our "dream man" or "perfect woman" pictured in our heads. "He must be more than six-foot-fiv and have a full head of hair." "She must weigh 110 pounds and have a 36D chest." But if this is your criteria for a "soulmate," I have news for you:Yyou're not likely to find the love of your life!
Conversely, do you really want to be with someone who finds you sexy but could care less about the person inside? Looks are fleeting. Seek a soulmate who is beautiful under the skin. You never know what package your soulmate is going to arrive in. Be flexible and you just might be pleasantly surprised.
3. A partner I'd be ashamed to take home to my family. If someone is truly your soulmate, he or she is going to be around for a long time. Presumably, you want to be with someone who would fit in well with your family and friends ... someone you'd be proud to take home to mom and dad.
Don't date a man who wants you to dress like a porn star. He's not seeing you as "wife material" or the mother of his future children. And guys, if you're truly looking for your soulmate, don't date someone you'd be ashamed to bring home to your parents. Keep reading ...
More dating advice from YourTango: