ProConnect

The Top 5 Mistakes That Lead To Divorce

By

divorced couple
Mistake number one: you're afraid to bring up issues.
These relationship blunders break up even the strongest of marriages.

Having been divorced myself and gone through countless number of relationships that have not worked, I definitely know what mistakes to avoid to make the relationship work.

Below are just some of the mistakes I've made, that my clients have made and that you should avoid.

More from YourTango: Single On Valentine's Day And Loathing It? 5 Ways To Get Happy

1. You ignore issues as a couple. This is probably the worst thing you can do. Sticking your head in the sand around the issues you may have in your relationship is not the way to go. The unexpressed feelings will slowly but surely start eating away at you, and over a period of time, what looked like small annoyances will transform into massive resentments. (And then before you know it, you're hating your partner because you cannot put up with anything anymore.) I know this very well, as I have been there myself. Before my divorce, this is the exact state of denial that led to the demise of our relationship. I did not know how to express how I was feeling and my ex-husband simply didn't want to hear it. The problem got bigger and bigger, and before we knew it, we stopped trusting one another and the relationship broke down completely.

Instead, deal with the issues as they come up. Just like when you clean your home, if you keep dusting away the cobwebs, you will create a consistently clean environment.

2. You don't work on the relationship. Somehow, we seem to think intimate relationships will run on their own fuel without putting much effort into them. This is simply not true! A relationship needs work — just as a car needs fine-tuning.

More from YourTango: Pesky Money Myths That May Sabotage Your Relationship

At the very least, understand how relationships work; and at the very most, work on yourself and what you bring to the relationship. Healthy and fulfilling relationships happen from the inside out. I made this mistake and paid dearly for it. I kept wanting to change my ex-husband, thinking he was the problem, when in fact, it was me all along! Work on you first; learn about how relationships work and the rest will follow. Keep reading ...

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

Single On Valentine's Day And Loathing It? 5 Ways To Get Happy

By

Valentine's day is looming. And for some it's a day full of candles and romanitc cards but for others it can exacerbate the feeling of loneliness and insecurity. This article is for you if you find yourself alone on that day and wishing you weren't, with some reminders for you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, the light is ... Read more

Pesky Money Myths That May Sabotage Your Relationship

By

Having recently got married and never before shared my financial resources with anyone, it's been challenging, to say the least, to share resources with my husband — but it's something that I am willing to explore. There have been lots of ups and downs in this department, and we still get into heated arguments about money and who needs to ... Read more

For a Great Marriage Stop Needing To Be Right!

By

Wanting to be right in your marriage is a sure way to break it down, and is one of the most detrimental patterns to any relationship. Below are 5 reasons why being right is a big no-no, and why it's okay to be wrong! Win-Lose Mentality Versus Win-Win Being in a relationship with someone is about win-win, otherwise why are you in a relationship with ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
shame

How to Get Over Your Stinkin' Thinkin'

Recognize "Stinkin Thinkin" that leads to depression and turn it into positive action and success.

valentines-flowers-surprise

Why Breakups Hurt

Breakups hurt us even when there is no love lost.

Brain

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

The emotional processing in the male and female brain is not the same....

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS