What You Shouldn't Do If You're Caught Cheating

By

what not to do if you're caught cheating
You cheated. You got caught. Now what?

"How could you have done this to me?" I stood there speechless, not knowing what to say, dumfounded that my ex-husband had finally found out that I was having an affair. In that moment, I was so sorry for what I had done and how our relationship was going to end.

And I made matters worse by not taking responsibility for my own actions. So if you're a woman who has been caught having an affair by your partner or you're even contemplating going down that road, please avoid the following five mistakes.

I want to express upfront that I'm not writing this article to say that having an affair is the right thing to do (as it is not). All I want is to make it clear as to what you can do to make things a little better for your spouse. (To find out what you can do if he wants a divorce, download your free chapters of "Goodbye Mr. Ex.")

1. Deny it. I denied it over and over. I had not planned for him to find out. For most of the time while having the affair, I had been living in complete denial about the entire scenario. I was living a fantasy and not thinking straight at all. So when he did, I really did not know what to do. Denying it seemed like the only option. It wasn't a conscious decision; it was more of a reactive behavior. This just made him more angry and frustrated as he just wanted to be told the truth. Instead, tell the truth. If he's found out, then there's no point in denying it. Come clean to lessen the blow.

2. Leave highly explicit evidence. Don't leave highly explicit evidence lying around. I did and it did not bode well at all. Not only did he have to deal with finding out, but he now had all the details. Reading my confused emails to friends made matters worse because he read into them what he wanted to, which made him feel worse about my infidelity. Instead, it's important to destroy any of the evidence that you may have so as not to hurt the other person even more. Now, you are probably wondering, well if I don't have any evidence how would he find out? A friend? A colleague? Maybe, the point is that the less he has graphical detail, the better. It will save him a lot of heartache. Keep reading ...

More infidelity advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

Just Do It: How To Stop Being Afraid Of Breaking Up

By

Are you one of the many people ready to leave a relationship but either afraid of what the future will hold for you if you do leave, or guily over leaving your partner? What would it be like if you could leave without the guilt and fear? How do you think you would feel? Having worked with clients who found themselves in this predicament, I can tell you that ... Read more

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? 5 Ways To Decide To Breakup

By

In my coaching practice, I often come across women who are really confused and stuck as to whether they should stay or go in a relationship. Instead of making a decision, they waiver from wanting to leave,  succumbing to their fear of what would happen if they did leave and finally wanting to avoid the guilt of making the first move. I have been there ... Read more

Single On Valentine's Day And Loathing It? 5 Ways To Get Happy

By

Valentine's day is looming. And for some it's a day full of candles and romanitc cards but for others it can exacerbate the feeling of loneliness and insecurity. This article is for you if you find yourself alone on that day and wishing you weren't, with some reminders for you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, the light is ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB