Neil Sedaka’s Billboard Hot 100 hit, Breaking Up is Hard to Do, was a scorcher in 1962, sitting atop the charts at No. 1 and scoring world-wide. It was translated into several foreign languages and re-recorded by Sedaka in 1975 and several other pop artists over the years.
The music was catchy on the first song, and more slow and mellow on Sedaka’s second recording of his song. But what grabbed the listener and propelled the song into its meteoric rise throughout the world was the sentiment, the universally felt, underlying pathos which normally accompanies any break-up with someone special to your heart.
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of regrettably ending a loving relationship with someone you cared about, then you’re fully aware that breaking up sucks. Heck, I’ve broken up with several cats I had and that sucked, so human break-ups tend to hurt perhaps a million times more. You can get listless, depressed, scarf down a whole tub of Hagen-Daz, or a whole bag of Doritos, or not eat for days on end. You can bore your friends with all the good times you and “Bob” previously shared, or totally isolate yourself and not talk to anyone. You can feel like your life has ended, and to be real, a part of it has. You can wallow in that for days and weeks, OR, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and rejoin the human race. Learn how to forget someone you love, and move on.
Please choose the latter, because reliving that searing, knife-in-the-heart emotion is so detrimental to your well-being . . . it really is. Let’s look at ways to move on:
Allow Yourself to Grieve
You’ve lost someone. You’ve lost your Smoochy-Face, your Honey-Bear, your Boo. It’s over. Allow yourself to curl up on your bed and cry until your eyeballs feel like they’re about to drop out. Give yourself one good week of crying, sniffing, boo-hoo’ing and just plain ole feeling miserable. One Week. Granted, you’re probably not going to feel healed after one week, but lying around depressed as hell for any longer than that is not good. You can still grieve, but grieve on your feet. Get up.
Forgive Him and Yourself
If there is any amount of hatred inside you toward him, even an infinitesimal amount, do try to forgive. Forgiveness really isn’t about the other person, it’s all about you – you letting go of old, ugly hurtful feelings so that you can live again – so you’re not tied to the past. And definitely forgive yourself for any mistakes you made. No one’s perfect no matter how much we think we are. You’re not the first and certainly not the last to make mistakes in a relationship. Don’t be hard on yourself.
Life Offers Lessons – Always