What’s the one thing that would make 2011 your best year ever? More money? A better job? Losing 20 pounds? As great as those might be, there’s something else that I guarantee will create a magical year: love. Not Hollywood or Hallmark-card kind of love, but love as a state of being: the kind of love I call Love for No Reason.
Is it possible to live in a state of unconditional love all of the time? That’s the question I set out to answer in my latest book, Love for No Reason. After interviewing more than 150 people I call "Love Luminaries," including scientists, psychologists, spiritual teachers, and people whose lives were rich in the qualities of the heart, I found that they all share certain qualities that anyone can develop to experience more unconditional love.
Here are 10 tips from my new book to get your New Year off to an unconditionally loving start:
1. Anchor Yourself in Safety. Feeling stressed, unsupported, or fearful takes love off-line. To quickly switch out of stress mode, take a few deep breaths and consciously relax your pelvic floor, located at the base of your body. This kick-starts your parasympathetic system and activates the physiology of unconditional love.
2. Sense Your Support. Choose to believe that this is a friendly universe. When you find yourself facing a challenging situation, look for the ways that the situation is ultimately serving you. Ask yourself: Is this for my enjoyment, growth, or both?
3. Feel Your Feelings. Research shows that stifling your emotions or expressing them excessively is equally damaging to your capacity to experience love. Luckily, there’s a third option: feeling your feelings. Practice experiencing your feelings directly and completely by observing them as they move through your mind and body—and then letting them go. 10 Dating Mindsets Sabotaging Your Love Life
4. Practice Self-Compassion. Try a simple self-love technique that brings you into your heart and reminds you to treat yourself with care. Throughout the day, ask yourself, What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now? or What’s the most loving way I can be with myself right now? And then pay attention to the answer.
5. Unleash the Power of Forgiveness. Use the ancient Hawaiian kahuna forgiveness technique of Ho’oponopono to clear your blocks to love. Based on the principle of taking total responsibility for everything that happens to you, the technique consists of sitting quietly and mentally repeating, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you,” over and over. Learning To Forgive My Husband Saved Our Marriage
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