When someone cheats on you it’s like your whole world has crashed down on you. It’s hard to get up and continue on with your life.
It’s possible though, you just need to know how to do it. Understanding how to help yourself will get you back on your feet and feeling stronger in no time.
Step #1: Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain
Many people will want to bury themselves with work and not deal with the pain of infidelity but that’s not the way to deal with it. What happens with that is you’ll just bury it deep inside of you and it will grow.
It will grow inside of you like a disease and it will infect a future relationship. The next thing you know when you start dating someone else, you’ll start to see them as a cheating bastard just like your ex was and that is not fair to you or him.
To prevent that from happening, you need to allow yourself to come to grips with what has happened to you. Someone has caused you a great deal of pain and you need to allow yourself to nurse your wounds. It’s just like being stabbed with a knife and now you must take time to let it heal.
Cry if you need to, get all of the hugs you need and let yourself crawl into a hole so you can grief the loss of your relationship. If you are trying to save your relationship after cheating, you’ll still have to feel the pain of the cheating, and that means dealing with it with your partner who did the cheating. It’s possible to do this and rebuild the trust. But again, you must take time to feel the pain of the betrayal.
Step #2: Understand That It Wasn’t Your Fault
Cheating makes you feel like you are two inches tall. Having someone who is only supposed to be for you go and be with someone else can be like a slap in the face. But it’s not a slap in the face to you. People cheat for many reasons and it usually has nothing to do with their partner. It’s important to think about the real reasons why your partner decided to cheat and understand that it wasn’t because of you. You didn’t deserve this disrespect. It helps to know that you were hurt indirectly. Your partner didn’t cheat on you to hurt you – he didn’t go out with the thought, “I am going to hurt her because she isn’t good enough.”
Cheaters cheat because of an internal conflict that they are resolving through the actions of cheating.
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Step #3: Feel the Strength of Overcoming Emotional Pain
After you’ve felt the pain and realized that you weren’t to blame for the cheating, you are on the road to recovery. You’ll begin to feel some relief from the weight of the emotional pain of the betrayal. This will start to give you strength because you’ll start to realize that you are starting to overcome one of life’s biggest challenges. You are starting to overcome the pain of infidelity.
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