7 Reasons You Are Still Single

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7 Reasons You Are Still Single
Are you tired of the single status?

Love can be frustrating and sometimes seem impossible. Staying single can become a reoccurring nightmare. Most of the time the reason we are still single has got nothing to do with the guy sitting opposite us but it does have to do with how we view love and ourselves. This view can lead us into a vicious cycle of self-sabotage which ultimately keeps love at a distance and the idea of falling in love far away.

Listed below are some of the reasons of how you might be keeping love at a distance

 

1.You don’t believe In Love
The fact that you don’t believe in love can hold you back from meeting the guy you always wanted. You believe it would be great to meet someone one day but you don’t believe it could actually happen. And it is because you don’t believe you tend not to make an effort when it comes to finding love, you just wait around wishing and hoping your circumstances will change some day.

Deep down at your core you simply just don’t believe in love. You believe the whole happy ever after thing is a joke. It is not real, you will get bored, he doesn’t exist or every guy has something wrong with him. So time and time again you pass up perfectly good men because something about the situation is just not right.

2.Fearful Of What We Might Turn Into If We Fall In Love
Everyone has parts of themselves they love to share with others our fun, happy, positive self.  When we fall in love initially we become very vulnerable, we are excited to spend time with the person we are most attracted to we want that person to see us at our best. We also have parts of ourselves that we don’t love so much, the parts when we are scared, negative and needy. The fear of being viewed as ugly in the eyes of another whether that is physical or personally really scares us. Jealously, lack of trust, fear of commitment and any other skeleton you have hidden in the closet will rear its ugly head. It is only in facing our fears and what we don’t like about ourselves can true love present itself. This is why dating regularly is good for you it gives you an opportunity to grow and evolve.

3.Holding Onto A Grudge From The Past
Billions of people all over the world blame something from outside of themselves for their current circumstances their parents’ divorce, fighting, cheating, lack of trust or emotional and physical abuse as reasons why they cannot find love in the present moment.  There is no doubt that there is a link between childhood experience and life repeating itself in your adult years, but you must let the pass go if you truly want to find love and give the single status up. Anything from the past that you have a deep emotional charge to will recreate itself in your current surrounding so remember to let go of the past.

4.You Are Hard On Yourself
You have fallen into the trap of I am not good enough and there is something wrong with me syndrome. If a guy rejects you, you believe it is because of something you did wrong or that you are not pretty enough.  If this is your struggle you must take a deep look at the beliefs you are telling yourself and question if the beliefs are true or not. Ask yourself are these just old tapes you have been playing in your head for far too long? The only way to break free from this cycle is to be aware of your habits and do the personal work to turn this around and decide to be kind and gentle to yourself.

5.Your Expectation of Love Is Unrealistic
Unfortunately society and media can give a very distorted view of what love is. We are brainwashed from childhood to believe stories of happy ending and that everything in life is always rosy and perfect. It is better to let go of this view and realize that the perfect man opposite you is sometimes going to be annoying, there are things you are not always going to like about him and love is a journey filled with ups and downs. Your expectation of love and real life must be realistic. It is a matter of choice to love.

6.You Live Off The Highs And Lows
Oh chemistry and physical appearance of a handsome man with his warm arms wrapped around you on a stolen night can drive a girl crazy the lust of love, the excitement of when you are going to meet again and the burning desire to be with him can send you on euphoria that last for days even weeks. I personally spent years living of the highs of life both travelling for 15 years and within my relationships. I would go crazy for a man who loved to play games and keep me guessing.  Then when the fun and games were over and he had moved on I found myself wallowing in self-pity as my world would become consumed with loneliness, longing and sadness for what might of being. Living on a rollercoaster of highs and lows will definitely keep you single because you will wait for the next big hit again.

7.You Don’t Know How To Be In A Relationship
Finally you meet that guy you really want to be in a relationship with and now you are pacing up and down the room wondering what to do about it. You anticipate if he likes you, if he will ask you out and what the future holds. You spend endless hours obsessing about how to behave when you next spend time with him. And as the relationship evolves you fret about how to deal with everything such as the conversation about whether you are boyfriend and girlfriend. When to move into together how to act and how to behave. Being in a relationship scares you and knowing what to do seem impossible. My best advice is when you feel like this go with the flow, keep yourself busy. You are better than you think you are and you do know how to be in a relationship you have been practicing for years.

Staying single is sometimes more of a battle with the mind than it has got to do with an outside source. So acknowledge your fear, worries and concerns. Let me reassure you, everybody to some degree suffer from the same things you consume your mind with. It is perfectly naturally to fear relationships after all it is a big commitment but I can reassure you if you want to really give up your single status the best approach is to dive in and take the jump to finding love. Afterall love is a choice. What are you waiting for?

To get your free report, 15 Biggest Mistakes That Keep You Attracting The Badboy, visit my website. Want to read more? Check out my advice for a woman who has found a quality guy, but with one HUGE shortcoming.

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lorna-poole/how-can-i-tell-if-guy-right-guy-me#ixzz376E5mwrx
 


 

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lorna Poole

Relationship Coach

Lorna Poole, The Ultimate Badboy Breakthrough Coach

Location: Kildare Town, KD, Ireland
Credentials: ACC, CPC, ELI-MP
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