How To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment
Your relationship with yourself is a great place to begin.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -Groucho Marx
Nothing bugs the students and clients I work with more than angst about commitment. I'm all for commitment ... for stepping up to the relationship plate, aligning actions and words. Sometimes, however, it takes an unusual perspective to get some unusual results.
In a course I teach for amazing women, the final assignment is to plan a commitment ceremony. It includes a vow-creation exercise and a marriage ceremony planning. But here's the clincher: it's all for the woman's relationship to herself! Dating Advice: How To Handle The Fear Of Rejection
Commitment. Big, bold, juicy word that holds promise and possibility, clarity of intention, perhaps a touch of constriction along with a big breath of freedom. It also means to pledge, devote or bind to a certain course or policy. And it also means to be in a long-term emotional relationship with.
It's a powerful exercise because, really, when do we pay that much attention to our relationship with ourselves? It's also powerful to truly think through exactly what we are creating from our commitment and our vows. What are we agreeing to uphold and who are we agreeing to be, in rough times and smooth? And who are we in a long-term emotional relationship with, if not ourselves?
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So, your mission (should you choose to accept it) is:
- Write out your vows to yourself. What do you promise to do, be and uphold for yourself, even when you don't feel like it? What are you devoted to, for yourself?
- Create your commitment ceremony. It can be long or short, simple or involved; it can involve real jewels and killer duds, or a gum-ball ring and your favorite sweats. Get real, get sacred, bring your vows and do the deed.
But most of all ... commit to yourself.
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LiYana Silver, CHC, RYT, MaNLP, works with change agents and thought leaders who are rockin' making the world a better place, but whose relationships may be a tad rocky. She helps them transfer the excellence they bring to most areas of their lives onto their relationships, and trade up often a lifetime of painful patterns for partnerships that make them say, "Are you kidding me? I can't believe it's really this good! And it just keeps getting better and better!"
LiYana maintains a private practice as a Relationship Coach, speaks nationally, lectures in corporations and colleges, has appeared on dozens of radio and TV shows, maintains her website and business, http://www.love3point0.com (cuz 1.0 and 2.0 aren't working so well!) and writes for various magazines and blogs — YourTango.com of course!